~::Welcome To My Life::~

Back!

2011-09-03T11:53:00.003+08:00

Gosh its really been a while huh? Almost one year since my last entry~ I've been MIA.. Yeah I know I know~ I shouldn't have neglected you dear blog~

Anyway, I'm back! (for now) hee

The wonder about blogs is every now and then, you scroll down and read some of the previous entries and go WOW I wrote that? lol yeah I always read my posts and realize how much i've changed.. This blog has been with me since 2004~ 7 years~ Through sec school, university, and now, working life~

Life has been hectic~ Ups and downs are part and parcel of life.. I have been working in 2 different banks for the past 1.5 years.. I just resigned a few weeks ago after much consideration. I know u hear this very often:" I'm still young.. bla bla bla" but its true.. we look at ppl nowadays job hopping every now and then. Maybe i'm just not fit for the job? cant stand the pressure? I dont know. Like what I wrote to my interviewer: "What I want is a career and not just another job." I guess I'm still searching for that dream job that i truly love. Hope everything goes well next week at the new company :)

On the other hand, I've been enjoying myself a lot with music and performances all year round. Its tiring but what the heck, that's the only place where its stress free~

to end this post, here is our latest group photo~ enjoy :)

My guitars

2010-10-04T22:25:00.005+08:00

This is my guitar.

Taylor 110ce

Type/Shape	6-String Dreadnought
Back & Sides	Sapele Laminate
Top	Sitka Spruce
Soundhole Rosette	Plastic
Neck	Sapele
Fretboard	Ebony
Fretboard Inlay	Pearloid Dots
Headstock Overlay	Indian Rosewood
Binding	Black
Bridge	Ebony
Nut & Saddle	Tusq
Tuning Machines	Enclosed, Die-Cast Chrome Plated
Strings	Elixir® Medium Gauge Strings with NANOWEB® Coating
Scale Length	25 1/2 Inches
Truss Rod	Adjustable
Neck Width at Nut	1 11/16 Inches
Number of Frets	20
Fretboard Radius	15 Inches
Bracing	X-Brace
Finish	Varnish
Color Options	Natural
Sunburst Options	None
Cutaway	Venetian
Electronics	Taylor ES-T®
Left-Handed	Available; No Charge
Body Width	16 Inches
Body Depth	4 5/8 Inches
Body Length	20 Inches
Overall Length	41 Inches
Case	Gig Bag
U.S. Suggested Retail Price	$1098.00

This is also my guitar.

Taylor 214ce

Type/Shape	6-String Grand Auditorium
Back & Sides	Indian Rosewood Laminate
Top	Sitka Spruce
Soundhole Rosette	Plastic
Neck	Sapele
Fretboard	Ebony
Fretboard Inlay	Pearloid Dots
Headstock Overlay	Indian Rosewood
Binding	White
Bridge	Ebony
Nut & Saddle	Tusq
Tuning Machines	Enclosed, Die-Cast Chrome Plated
Strings	Elixir® Light Gauge Strings with NANOWEB® Coating
Scale Length	25 1/2 Inches
Truss Rod	Adjustable
Neck Width at Nut	1 11/16 Inches
Number of Frets	20
Fretboard Radius	15 Inches
Bracing	X-Brace
Finish	Satin with Gloss Top
Color Options	Natural
Sunburst Options	None
Cutaway	Venetian
Electronics	Taylor ES-T®
Left-Handed	Available; No Charge
Body Width	16 Inches
Body Depth	4 5/8 Inches
Body Length	20 Inches
Overall Length	41 Inches
Case	Taylor Hardshell Bag
U.S. Suggested Retail Price	$1398.00

Yes, I bought another guitar.

HAPPEEEEEE~!

2010-08-21T00:25:00.001+08:00

I'm SOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!

Lets just say... I'M ALIVE AGAIN!!!!!

I can't express how happy I feel today~

Its like... I've never been that happy for the past 8 months?

Its like a whole new beginning!

HAHHAA

Ok I'm crapping here but anyways... I'M HAPPY! :)

Graduation~

2010-08-01T23:07:00.003+08:00

I received my scroll from our chancellor's hands.. although walking over n taking the scroll only lasted 5 seconds, it meant that, I've finally completed my university studies~ 4 years~ ended in just 5 seconds~

Working life is so different now~ No one really cares about what you feel or who you are.. Everyone works for themselves.. Everyone works for money~ Its so different from uni life where everyone does what they like.. we organize events not to earn money, but for our passion~

I kept fighting back my tears when i was singing Permata Dunia yesterday~ I had so many flashbacks while I was singing that song~ I sang that very song when I first entered MMU~ Yesterday I was singing that song when I'm leaving MMU... Words can't describe my feelings~ mixed with happiness and sadness~ I've had so much memories throughout these 4 years~ I've finally graduated..

As I was sitting in the Grand Hall.. I kept thinking to myself~ How nice it would be if grandpa was here to see me graduate~ He'd sure be very proud of me~ I kept picturing his face in my mind~ n I teared up a few times~ but I believe that although he's not physically there, he can still see me.. I'm sure he was there to celebrate my graduation that day :)

This is Shau Chong a.k.a. John a.k.a Woman a.k.a Kuning~

He promised me he'd be there for my graduation months ago n he did :)

n he was the cameraman of the day!~

Oh yea we knew each other since Standard 6, making this 10 years of friendship!

Li Yinn came too!!! We knew each other during high school~

Hope i'll be able to attend her graduation next year!

Bing Xin n Christina, 1 is my housemate n 1 is my roommie~~

We had so much memories studying n staying together..

Sure goin to miss them loads!!!

The familiar trio~ haha

Director: Alvin

Assistant Director: Ying Tian, Bing Xin

We worked hard for the 6th Fresh Bottle Recital~

n finally, we've graduated together :)

Grandparents~

Grandpa, you should be in this photo~

Wish you were here...

Idiots all around

2010-07-22T23:36:00.002+08:00

SOOO angry today!

This colleague of mine actually told my boss the reason for her 0 sales is because I STOLE her customers.. WAD DA HELL?

All my customers are hard earned sales ok? n here she is just saying I snatched them?

Oh man if u were so great, y wud u even let me snatch ur customers? u should be able to close the cases yourself rite! Absurd lo!

ANGRY!

2010-07-14T23:42:00.003+08:00

Something happened recently..

I've never been so angry n disappointed at a person this much~ Never in my life..

Man I even tried putting in a few good words for you! How could you be so ungrateful?!

One thing's for sure~ You didn't even feel a bit of remorse!

NONE!

Somehow I think you lost your mind!

I was so shocked I couldn't even believe what had happened!

Not mentioning myself,

Maybe you should start counting how many people u have hurt along the way? Family? Friends?

Unimaginable!

Now you say its just for something u call "FREEDOM" ?!

Can't you even think logically?!

How can you ignore everything happily posting how happy you are??

Only now I know how irresponsible, ungrateful, despicable, disrespectful you are!

Now looking back, 4 years is not such a long time to know a person's true colors.

Get a life n get out of my life!!!

______________________________________________________________________

Don't expect me to forgive you.

Dont blame me. You blew your chance.

Roadshows~

2010-07-10T10:13:00.003+08:00

Had 3 roadshows recently~ 1st one, we went to one of the biggest factories in the region~ they specialize in plastic molding ~ Stationed there 2 days at their canteen~ had a small little booth set up there... quite ok la.. got quite a few cases there :)

But it really opened up my eyes~ nv seen such a big factory~! :P

Then we went to the senai police station~ HAHA no i didnt do anything wrong~ We went to do roadshow also~ haaha...

Oh yaaaa I was on newspaper! haha.... we had a roadshow at SJK (C) Senai~ I was asked to judge a kids talent contest sponsored by CIMB~ n obviously I'm the onli person in my bank that can speak mandarin.. so... who else but me? ahha... then my boss asked me to perform as well.. LOL.... so in the end.. i sang 3 songs in SJK (C) Senai~ feels good to be able to perform again :)

FUN~!

2010-07-04T22:10:00.004+08:00

Had a great weekend! a busy one though~

Saturday went to meet customer at Bandar Baru Uda~ never expected my new GPS to work that well! it literally took me through all the small roads tht i've nv even heard of! Luckily i managed to find the shop~

N i met up with Hanwei n Keesiong~! lol... we always get to meet up like.. once a year? no less than that.. haha! anyways~~ I've met up with ks a few times b4 this d la~ had lunch at pelangi n we went to city plaza for pool! sooooo long nv play pool d~ :P (minus the time we wasted going to danga city mall cuz hanwei insisted theres a pool centre there~) LOL we were there till arnd 6 ~

We played with style~ (but we sucked) AHAHA

at night, I practiced guitar like crazy~ lol.. i duno y am i even practicing~ y shud i even be nervous? lol.. too long nv perform d la~~~ n also the fact that i've never sang alone on stage!! like~ me alone with my guit! in front of hundreds of ppl? i guess dis is my first! haha..

anyway.. today's event was a great success! sang 3 songs at SJK(C) Senai~ n guess wad? I received a flower from a few kids after i sang! AWW how sweet is that?? n u know wad? ppl actually took out their phones to record me while i was singing! i was like OMG R U SURE? aahhaa..

after that i became the judge for their talent contest which was sponsored by CIMB .. duh~~ hahaa.. kids nowadays super talented lo~ story telling to drums to dancing to magic show! all from one school.. amazing~ i wonder if my photo will appear in nanyang siang pau tml? ahah!

Life oh life~~

2010-06-20T02:56:00.002+08:00

I thought~ hey its been ages since i last played my guitar.. as in i stopped touching my guit all together after i started workin.... which was like 4 months ago.. LOL...

So i decided... what the heck.. n i trimmed my nails short on my left hand.. took out my guitar.. n tried playing Tommy Emmanuel's song Mombasa which i learnt last year..

To my horror.. i was playing half way through and.....I GOT STUCK

ok nvm.. it took me the rest of the day figuring out how to play it again.. n finally i could sorta play it..

then... i tried playing Tears in Heaven... n u knw wad? I COULDNT REMEMBER HOW TO PLAY....

WAD DA!?!?!?!!

AAAAAAAAAAA!!! Look what has working done to me???

I seriously need a life~ i'm working 12 hours a day.. 8am to 8pm.. go back home, eat, sleep.. I practically have almost no friends in JB.. i sleep my way through sats n suns... n its the same cycle over n over again!

mum asked me to go out n meet new ppl..

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?????

go to some random place n talk to some random person.. Hey can i be ur friend?

WOW thats gotta be fun.

MC today~

2010-06-14T21:28:00.002+08:00

I'm sick again~ haih.. am i stressing out myself too much?

Work seems to be pouring in~ Time seems to be limited.. I am already trying my best..

Results? I dont know.. seems to be way far from what i'm supposed to achieve..

anyhow~ CLOSE MORE SALES!!! :)

I wonder~

2010-06-09T20:59:00.000+08:00

I thought the superiors were supposed to motivate us and not demoralize us?

Hey!! I'm back!

2010-05-29T04:27:00.001+08:00

Its 4.30am in the morning~ :P It is always at weird times like this I suddenly feel like updating my blog~

I know i've been MIA from this blog for some time~ I know.. but its just that I really have no time! haha.. Well I've been working for 3 months now~ Excluding the 1st month where 3 weeks was spent in training, I've been actually working for 2 months~ :)

Well a recap on 1st training~ It was FUN! lol.. ok not all~ some classes were boring~ some were just dumb~ cuz even the trainer didnt know what was goin on~ But most of it was very educaitonal~ stuff I have never learnt throughout my 3 years in Uni~

Best of all, I met nice people there~! Colleagues from all over Malaysia~ like LITERALLY! ahah.. They ranged from Johor, to KL, to Penang, to Kedah, and all the way to Sabah!

Then I went back to my branch.. Tried to pick up as much as i could from my wonderful senior~ N when i managed to close my first housing loan~ U cant imagine how happy I was! :)

n before long I went for my unit trust exam n passed! shortly after I went to kl for 2 insurance paper.. i was so busy i at the branch i didnt really hav time to study cuz i was way too tired every night~ i just managed to flip through the questions n went for the exam.. LUCKILY i managed to pass! haha... got a C though.. but who cares? a pass is a pass! n i still get my license! XD

Then it was the 2nd training~ this time was mainly on selling skills~ I sure had fun alright~ We had roleplays everyday selling products to our friends acting as prospects~ heh.. quite interesting.. learnt some great skills~

After that it was back to branch again n its work+work+work!

So far I really love my job~ I get to meet different ppl everyday~ I get to go out to get cases~ which i really enjoy because i'm not the type of person that can sit still in offices~ lol Work is tough no doubt~ We have to do so so much.. Quite a feat for me considering i've never been to the bank alot myself~ heck I didnt even know how to fill in the deposit and withdrawal form! HAHA..

Its been 3 months n i guess I'm adapting pretty well~ yes i am stressed but i guess thats what keeps me goin everyday.. To be ready for work every morning~ :)

My new job

2010-02-25T22:24:00.005+08:00

Only 4 days of work n these are the documents i bring home~ HAHA~ quite alot ehh?

I'm so enjoying my work now~ Manager is nice, senior is nice, all my colleagues are nice.. even the guards are nice!

1st day didnt really do much... juz read on some product info where i cant understand more than half of it~ :P

2nd day colleague emergency leave.. everyone had to relieve everyone so i had to help out as the navigator~ learnt how to fill in forms! lol... actually v easy onli but i juz never knew how to~!

3rd day asked my colleagues to teach me stuff.. So i learnt how to open savings accounts from one colleague, learnt how to do fixed deposits from one colleague, learnt how to open current accounts from 1 colleague and learnt how to process loans from my senior! LOL super fun la got to know more about my colleagues n they are just extremely nice!

4th day went to pelangi branch for new product briefing.. like whoa~ 1st week got breifing d.. actually i wont have a chance to sell dat particular product cuz by the time i get back frm training, the promotion almost end d.. hah nonetheless.. experience la... n now every single pfc knows abt me.. haha.. was asked to introduce myself to all my fellow PFCs~ (personal financial consultant) haha~ oh ya.. my senior pfc belanja me lunch today! n i got to go back home early cuz the briefing ended early!! HEE

I'm goin to KL this coming Sunday for 3 weeks training~~ to get my license to sell~ heh.. Will be staying in Bangi.. the CIMB training center.. They tell me its a hutan there.. oh well.. isnt Cyberjaya a hutan as well? :P n classes start frm 9am till 5.30pm everyday.. omg.. how am i goin to survive the training? haha... I'll be driving once i'm in kl.. so i hope there isnt anything on weekends so i can go SHOPPING!!! haha n also meet up with my friends... (MAC's new collection is coming out on 1st March~~ EEKS!) hope they'll still have stock when i even get to shop there.. heh.. saw a few nice lipstick shades online.. heeeeeeee

Dont think i'll get internet connection at the training place.. SOBX!!!!! We'll c how la.. if not, after classes i'll go somewhere with wifi to online.. if i can find any at all.. haha

Last but not least.. I LOVE MY JOB! (for now i guess LOL)

1st day of work

2010-02-22T21:58:00.007+08:00

Oh man I struggled on writing my previous post.... I was sobbing so hard I couldnt even type properly... (diverts own attention n facebook-ed for 10 mins to stop da tears~ )

ok i'm back.. (somewhat normal with super swollen eyes..) T.T

Actually I wanted to write a post yesterday.. Ended up i couldnt cuz of the stupid connection~
i was SOOOO nervous last night.. i called my godma n ranted to her for half an hour about my Pre-Working Syndrom .. lolx~!

n then YX called.. n I ranted to her the next hour.. HAHA.... I dont really know why am i so nervous.. but i was extremely nervous..

I woke up at 6.30am this morning.. took a bath.. put on my makeup.. (actually the fotoz were taken when i got back frm work.. but it still looks nice rite? RITE? :P)

I wore a bluish green outfit for the day.. godma bought it for me frm Dorothy Perkins! Lurve it to bits!!! n i had the same color for my eye makeup! :P (is it just me or am i getting fairer and fairer nowadays? HAHAHA)

n guess wad? Matching color earrings!!! n yes i can be very particular when it comes to matching clothing to eye makeup n accesories~ (didnt know the side of my face looks kinda nice oso...HAHA i'm getting vain~ )

Isnt it just adorable? Its a butterfly! n its green too! :P initially bought it to match my cheongsam for cny.. ended up i didnt wear it. haha..

n drove to work~! yes i drove to senai all by myself! So proud of myself for not getting lost! HAHA...

Was nervous throughout n i was singing super loud on da way to work.. :P but all the nerves were gone the minute n stepped into the bank n my colleagues greeted me with the warmest smile~ :)

Had a short n very laughable briefing regarding the latest promotions n every1 was of f to work.. I was attached to another fellow PFC who is my senior.. but he didnt look very free so he asked me to go with the Navigator 1st.. She was very nice n she explained stuff to me when she wasnt attending to customers..

A while after that, my manager brought me to my desk n linked me to the intranet n stuff.. I HAVE MY OWN DESK HOW COOL IS THAT? LOLX (ok i'm over excited~ ) n i spent the next hour or 2 reading up on company product n services~

Then lunch time cam n guess wad? My manager treated me lunch! =) Hez a super nice fatherly type of manager.. :)

Dad picked me up at 3.30pm to go register my EPF account.. came back to office at 5 something.. They were blowing ballons... OMG.. OF ALL THINGS... BALOONS! n i'm freaking scared of baloons!!!!

Yes u guessed it.. i was screaming everytime a baloon burst.. hahaa... i wasnt much of a help ther so my manager asked me to go home 1st.. ahhaha! (i really wanted to help tho! :P)

N i drove back without getting lost too! YAYS!

AND AND AND.... grandma cooked the most delicious Bak Kut Teh for dinner~! Droolz~!

So that pretty much sums up my 1st day of work~ heh.. Looking forward to a new day tml! Nitex peeps!

For grandpa..

2010-02-22T21:23:00.003+08:00

Last night before I slept.. I was lying on my bed.. I started talking out loud.. pretending that my grandpa was there.. n i actually talked for 20 mins... n i spent the rest of the time crying myself to sleep... yes.. call me silly or crazy or someone who cant accept the truth.. But i always believe my grandpa is still around me.. Juz somewhere where i couldnt see him.. but he sees us... he knows what we are doing and he cares.. jus like he did when he was still here... n so.. I dedicate this post to him..

公公，你的孙女做工了！而且是在银行做工！你可以去跟你的朋友们说噢～告诉他们你有多开心。。　多骄傲。。。

我真得很想念你。。　真的真的很想念你。。

times i stared at my phone.. thinking about the times i saw ur name flashing at my screen.. knwing i'd hear the familiar voice... greeting me in the familiar way as how u always do all these years...

i passed by my school.. remembering how u always fetch me to school... n waiting at hutan bandar 1 hour earlier juz because u didnt want to let me wait..

i ate chicken rice.. remembering how u'd always add extra char siew and shao rou for me.. n just buy normal chicken rice for yourself..

i drank a can of soft drink.. remembering how u always complaint how expensive it is, yet u still buy a can for me all the time...

i ate indian kuih.. telling ah boy how u used to buy them for me n taught me how to eat them~

i passed by the temple.. remembering how u used to tell me wad every statue meant...

i watched tv... n picturing u scolding at the actors u never liked...

theres nothing i can do without thinking of you..

公公，照顾自己哦。。

　

Happy CNY~!

2010-02-18T21:46:00.007+08:00

I know I'm a little late.. but better late than never right? so heres wishing everyone HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! :P

I LURVE Cny especially cny eve cuz every year on that day, we'll get together at grandma's hse and have steamboat!! n the delicacies grandma cooks onli on cny n her most delicious butter cakes n fruit cakes~!!! oh oh n ang pows! :)

1st day of cny~! Me and my 2 youngest cousins~! The tiny one on my lap is only 4 years old! isn't she the cutest little gal?? :)

My MOST BELOVED Grandma!!! If u know me u shud know how much i ADORE her! :P I do look alot like her right? See the similarities?

Grandma, Mum, n the little one~ :)

Beautiful pots of flowers arent then? Full of originality and creativity eh? Of course.. they are my mum's masterpiece~ :) just a few of them.. See the little mandarins on the top right hand corner in this last pic? I made them! a few years back.. HUNDREDS of them.. hahaha... Gave some to mum, grandma n godma.. ahha..

And guess who I met up with when I went up to KL? Ex roomie Nana n erm........... ex director? Chris! HAHA.. We sure had a fun few hours playing mahjong! HAHA.. No money involved! We are good kids~ (and yes, we were trying to imitate the elephants behind us... failing miserably~HAHA)

Rommie and her coolest hairdo~! HAHA.. u shud have seen it when it was 1st done... LOL

And heres 3 of us acting all seirous n stuff.. haha~

2 cheeky cousins.. having fun running around n making a hell outta my life.. HAHAHA~~

Last but not least.... BESTIE~!!! Met up with YX for lunch today during her lunchtime.. shez working at E & Y for her internship.. goin back to aussie this week.. SOBX... wont be seeing her till Dec i guess.. but by that time she'll be back here for GOOD! yays~!!! :)

Anyway~ Starting work next week~~ Looks like i'll still be working in Senai after all! haha.. So heres wishing myself all the best in my work!! :) Ciaoz!

Nail art~

2010-02-08T00:54:00.006+08:00

I'm bored~ Extremely bored~! ahha.. n recently.. my craze for nail polish has re-appeared again~ hahaha... i ordered a couple of bottles of nail polish frm usa~ half of them arrived d.. LOL dont ask me how many~ hahahah... so i tried them out~ :P n since etude house is having 50% off the konad nail stamp plated~ i bought a couple of new ones too~ hahahhaa~

so i used China Glaze nail polish in Innocence for the base color~ I LOVE this color! my HG nail color for now~ HAHA its a sheer jelly-like pink color.. n it took me 4 thin coats to get this half opaque color~ pls excuse my not-so-nice nails.. haha

Then I used the Konad plate m41 n stamped these cute ribbon patterns on my nails.. took me a couple of times to get it right~ esp on the thumb n pinkie~ luckily the base was thick enuf~ so i cud lightly rub away the pattern without rubbing off the base color~ :)

Then added another black flower using Konad m50~

Then on the other hand~ used Konad plate m36 for the butterfly patterns~ :)

And added a floral pattern with Konad m41~

TADAH~!!!! Nice right? Nice RIGHT??? HAHAHA Dont care~ u must say nice~ LOLOL

Job Interviews~

2010-02-06T00:14:00.003+08:00

I went for an job interview laz week! It was at the CIMB branch at Pelangi.. They actually called me at 11.30am and asked me to go for an interview that very afternoon~ I was like... U've got to be kidding me.. ppl normally give a few days notice.. they gave me a few hours notice.. lolx.. i had no transport.. no preparation whatsoever.. So i asked them if i can go for the interview the next day~ They called back shortly after that n asked me to be there at 11.20am the nx morning~

I couldn't sleep at all that night.. ahha.. i dont know.. I wasn't at all nervous for my internship interviews.. Maybe there was something inside telling me: "Hey this is the real thing ok? U better make sure u make it!" Lolx.. Anyways.. went over to grandma's place in the morning... got changed and make up.. everything.. Dad came by to fetch me over to the CIMB branch~

Went up.. filled in some application forms as usual.. and waited outside the interview room~ Shortly after, they called me in.

1 malay guy and 1 chinese gal interviewed me... asked me to introduce myself.. then asked me stuff like why i think i'm up for this job.. how would i cope~ bla bla~ overall it was fine.. they seemed to like me so yea~ hahha!

the next day, public bank called and asked me to go for an interview in kl~ so i went up with my dad.. i got a shock when i reached the main branch which was directly opposite klcc~ there were at least 20+ ppl there waiting to be interviewed.. and when i saw my name on the list.. it was like.. 40+.. meaning there were 50 ppl that went for interview that day itself! lolx thats kinda crazy~ didnt expect so many ppl there.. but oh well public bank pays well.. haha

i reached there at 3.30... waited till 5.30pm~ yes.. 2 hours.. sitting there.. with sweaty palms~ counting the time.. n hoping it was me next everytime the hr person came out n called names... there were at least 4 rooms interviewing us~

finally at 5.30 i was called into a room with 2 chinese gals.. kinda young.. at most in their early 30s~ oh man they started bombarding me with questions after questions~ started to ask me about loan applications~ this was how it went:

Interviewer: So Miss Ng, please tell me what are the documents u need when processing a loan application for a bank?

Me: I'm just a fresh grad with no prior experience.. so..... (and just so u know, i got C for finance)

Interviewer: (cuts me off) We are aware that almost all of u are fresh grads. So just tell us what u know.

Me: Er~ (beginning to feel nervous) okay~ so u need to have the background of the company, the objective why they need to loan.. the financial statement~ bank accounts~ n also to check if they are making losses or not so that u can know whether they are able to repay the loan~

Interviewer: uh huh... some more?

Me: Er..... ...... ......? (scratches head)

Interviewer: ok next, if an individual were to apply for loan? This should me much easier.

Me: (easier?! i have no idea whatsoever!) ok, if its an individual.. u need their pay slip, and maybe support letters from previous or current employers~ n need to check if they have any prior criminal offence n stuff.. to ensure the application is legitimate and not for other purpose~

Interviewer: uh huh some more?

Me: ERRRR......... ......... ......... ?

Interviewer: ok what if the individual is self employed? theres no proof whatsoever he is working.. no pay slip no letters.. then what?

Me: ER... ER... ER.... ER.... (oh man~~~~~)

Interviewer: ok nvm~ (and starts askin questions about sales)

Man I did so badly I didnt even wanna think about it after it ended~ imagine so many ppl eyeing for that few positions offered~ i wonder how does any1 get into public bank at all~?! lol

right after that, the next day.. i received a call frm cimb saying that they wanna hire me! LOLOL

and i was told that they will be sending me for 3 weeks training in Bangi and i'll need to take tests n stuff in order to be able to start working.. AND~~~~~ everything is paid for!!! FOC~ On top of that~ I'll still be receiving my pay! That means~ i just have to work for a week after the 3 weeks training n i'll get my pay~ hahaha.. how cool is that?

Well the only setback is... its in JB... yea i've been hoping to work in KL~ but thinking back what my dad said~ my petrol easily costs RM400 per month~ accommodation RM400 (if i dont stay at my grandma's)... Tolls RM150.. Food RM500 Thats almost 1.5K GONE~ n my pay is merely 2k plus~ theres basically nothing left! lolx... which is quite true...

if i work in jb.... stay at home, save petrol, eat at home, no tolls~ heck i have an extra 1k to spend! so~ oh well.. i'll be staying in jb for the time being i guess~ (like as if i have a choice) hahahaa~

initially, i was told that i'll be working at the cimb branch in Senai~ which is erm.. 40 mins frm my place? kinda far considering its jb.. not kl~ then today... my mum called n she told me her colleague's husband is the branch manager of cimb in my own taman~ n it seems that they are 1 person short... n cud use me there... SO~~~~~~ I might just be working in my own taman! LOL talk about near.. man i can even cycle there if i wanted to~ ITS SO FREAKING DAMN NEAR~ LOLX

So...... i'll be starting on 22nd feb.... super nice number la... its my birthday, my cellphone num, my house address, n my car num plate! lolx

and since theres this music cafe near my hse.. might think of singing there too~ juz have to sing there once a week, i'll have extra cash to spend too! :P oh man i'm so money minded.. hahhhaaa~

oh yea~ my post: PERSONAL FINANCIAL CONSULTANT~

super chio la! HAHHAHA~ :P

Recap~!

2010-01-04T01:46:00.016+08:00

yes yes.. i know i know.. its been a while since i last blogged. ppl have been urging me to blog..

so anyway.. i know this is a little late.. but I'm already officially 21 years old!! lol.. well 2 months ago to be exact.. but anyways~ yea..

AND

I've finished my degree!!!

Wow.. time really passed by without me knowing it..

So.. some of the memorable stuff that I did recently.. lets c...

Well.. my best buddies came up to KL.. We had a hell of a great time of cuz.. our long-planned trip to kl.. juz the 4 of us.. :) finally we got to meet in kl.. Our 3 days 2 night trip was tiring but nonetheless very enjoyable ~ n most of the time it was about the FOOD! lolx Evertime we meet up we'll start tokin abt everything under the sun.. talk about other ppl n idiotic stuff we did in the past~ feeling nostalgic all of a sudden... ahah

Next was my 21st bday!!! man u shud hav seen my reaction when i saw so many guitarists in my room playing a bday song for me at 12am! haha... certainly a bday to remember~ whats more, the next day i went ice skating for the VERY FRIST TIME.. yes u heard it.. 1st time in my life~ n thank goodness Di was there.. if not i wud have fallen more than once! ahah.. n i had the nicest juciest steak in The Ship in uptown damansara! not forgetting nana's Flaming Lamborghini~ LOLOL!

Then i got to perform for a wedding~! it was my 3rd time performing on a wedding~ friend's-friend's-sister's-friend's wedding~ :P I had to be both the emcee and the performer.. nice experience.. PA sucked tho~ we literally had to stick the mic to the keyboard with scotch tape! hillarious~ haha

And the next day i had my finals~ LOL how cool is dat? Law paper summore.. Industrial Relations to be exact.. heh.. n then I langgar-ed a tiang.. A TIANG can u believe it? My poor poor car.. (Sorry grandpa!) Think i was too tired cuz i didnt slp at all the previous night studying for my paper.. oh well.. Had to send it to the repairshop~ Luckily i got it back a few days later..

The final day of exam.. I took some photos of the exam hall since it was the last time i'm ever gonna take tests inside d.. kinda sad actually.. i teared up as my roomie and i walked back to our place after the paper.. Oh well~~~ We went to watch Avatar 3D right after our paper.. well the 3D sucked but the movie was kickass~! Went home and right away started packing my stuff cuz dad came over the next morning at 8am to help me shift some stuff back! haha.. didnt slp again~

Spent the next 2 days at my aunt's place in Puchong.. Brought my mum shopping n stuff... Then went back to Cyber to do some stuff and we took some photos in campus before we left~

Then i left for Banting~ Christmas! My 2nd year spending christmas there.. Had a great time there :)

The next day godma, grandma and cuzzies came over~! I cant tell u how packed my schedule was.. ahha.. i asked them to stay at subang jaya - Summit Hotel cuz i'm familiar with tat place.. My turf or so to say.. lol.. Brought them EVERYWHERE.. ahhah! From Sunway to SS2 to Sungai Wang to Damansara to IOI~ Well just about every place i knew.. n they bougth ALOT.. no kidding! 29th Dec we took the last flight from LCCT back to JB!

HOME SWEET HOME! So happy to be back~ Hung out with my besties~! Went to sing karaoke at the new place~ n went makan as usual.. haha.. EATING seems to be our top priority these days.. We suddenly decided on a 1 day trip to Melaka over dinner and every1 said lets go~!

So the next week, our driver of the day Miss Tee fetched all of us frm our places n off we went to Melaka! Reached there at around 11 sumthing n went for their Bak Kut Teh! n right after that went for the famous Mille Crepe Cake~ And then CENDOL~!!! Did i mention its yet ANOTHER makan trip? hahaha We were already planning for our next trip on the way home.. LOL but oh well sch reopening n Miss Tee went back to cyber d~ dunno when all of us can meet up again.. heh.. cant wait~!

Main Agenda now: get my room cleaned up and get a job~!

LOLX thats all for now i guess~ Will try to update more often *I hope.. haha..

21 things I've done b4 i turned 21

2009-12-09T23:58:00.005+08:00

1. Went to China 3 times ( Beijing 1998, Hainan Island 2006, Shanghai 2007)
2. Went to USA 2 times (LA 2000, L A, Las Vegas, San Fransisco, Hawaii 2005)
3. Went to Australia 2 times ( Perth 1993, Gold Coast 1997 I think.. Too young too remember :P)
4. Went to Thailand 2 times (Bangkok 2004, Bangkok 2009)
4. Got stitches under my chin TWICE~
(once from falling down a dressing table, once from accidentally hitting my head on the ladder~ i was too young! :P)
5. Pierced my ears ( 3 weeks b4 my bday!)
6. Learned Piano (till Grade 5 onli :P)
7. Learned Guitar (Since end of Form 2)
8. Broke my Yamaha APX-3 Guitar :( (Hit the ceiling fan...zzz)
9. Bought my Taylor 110 ce! :)
10. Got a car
11. Performed for a wedding with my fellow friends (n got paid~ althought not a lot.. heh)
12. Performed at various places (University, Jonker Walk, Mahkota Parade, Klang Parade, Sunway Pyramid, The Mines Wonderland, etc.)
13. Got a job at a music cafe as a part time singer/guitarist
14. Lost 6 kg (lose more~!!!!)
15. Ate fried bugs in Bangkok
16. Learned how to swim
17. Swam in the rain :P
18. Composed my own songs :) (1st song composed in form 4 )
19. Brought my besties on a trip in KL
20. Got thrown into the pool on my birthday
(Twice! 18th n 19th birthday once in Malacca, once in Cyberjaya~ )
21. Fell in love ( broke up d anyway :P)

公公

2009-12-02T04:29:00.004+08:00

公公，

好久没写信给你了。你在那里还过得好吧？我刚过二十一岁哦. 如果你有在的话,一定会很开心的.我一定会和你一起庆祝生日的. 第二次生日你不在, 还是很不习惯. 你知道我有多想你吗? 每次驾你的车,都会想到你. 每次一个人驾车,都回想哭. 我现在会驾车了.不会像以前载你时那样迷路了. 如果你还在的话,我一定会载你去庙的.每天载都无所谓, 然后在你去吃东西. 就像你以前每天载我放学一样. 我一直向往能载你的那一天. 虽然没机会了,不过那一次迷路,也算是吧? 不懂那里有没有你最喜欢吃的印度饼? 我们每次去拜你,都会打包给你,有收到吧?

婆婆最近都不太舒服.. 每次她不舒服,都会梦到你在旁边照顾她.这次也一定要看着她哦.. 自从你走了以后,我几乎天天都有打给婆婆, 怕她不开心, 怕她不舒服. 如果家里有什么事发生,我不要再是最迟知道的那个了. 你让我更加了解生命的可贵,让我更懂得去爱身边的人.

公公,你好好保重吧.

Updates~!

2009-10-12T22:24:00.006+08:00

Yes I'm back with updates~!

I'm having holidays now~!!! Finally finished my 4 month internship.. It has been tiring.. but yeah it has finally ended.. It doesnt seem that long now that i look back.. haha... And suddenly I find myself waking up at 8am in the morning.. wide awake.. haha... look what 4 months of waking up early has done to me..

The next day after my internship ended, I went Banting with my friends~!

There were 7 of us.. 4 frm banting.. HAHA... I really had fun.. I have always loved that place.. dont know why.. maybe cuz i've always been living in the city all my life? Busy streets with traffic jams are all I see everyday.. Its nice to have a relaxing trip once in a while~ :)

Had a great time there.. we flew kites too~! My dad used to bring me to fly kites when i was young too~! Had so much fun.. Also we had seafood for dinner it was free~! Thnx to bx's dad.. thanks uncle~! :)

Right after that... The next day, I took a flight back to JB~! So.. here I am.. home sweet home~!
Nothing beats having a simple home cooked meal.. tofu.. baked beans and eggs... vege.. n over-cooked prawns.. lol~! Hey I'm not complaining~ :P Just the 3 of us... Oh i really enjoy that..

Anyway.. dad has been discussing what I would do after I graduate.. Its either work or continue to study... but after looking at the masters courses available.. I think most probably I'll be working.. HAHA... I'll keep my options open though.. We'll c how it goes

In the mean time~ I'm so gonna take these 2 weeks and have a really nice long break... After 4 months of working.. Nv thought working would be THAT tiring.. lolx

Goin to SG on weds~ Cant wait! :)

1st night performing at lifes cafe

2009-09-19T02:40:00.003+08:00

I got a job as a guitarist/singer at Lifes Cafe together with Jiayi and Bing Xin~! We went for an interview few days ago n all of us got in!

Today was my 1st time performing at a music cafe as their singer/guitarist.. lol.. Although i have performed in many places b4... it was for fun onli.. n normally i played guitar for my friend.. thats all... dis time... i have to be on stage like... 2.5 hours? lolol

Believe it or not.. i actually took the day off to search for songs n practice... n also to pick up my taylor guit frm da repair shop... yep~ MY BABY IS BACK~!!!!

Anyways... today's performance.... there was me, jiayi.. n 2 other ppl... sharon, n wei yang.. another guitarist... cuz i think our agent didnt want to stress us out since its our 1st day.. so he arranged 4 ppl to be on stage...

So... our 1st half of the performance was VERY VERY VERY shaky... i mean like... wrong chords.. singing out of tune n stuff.. yes it was TERRIBLE~!

Can't believe i can make DAT many mistakes when i'm so used to performing on stage.. maybe normally its with a band.. n u kinda feed off each other's vibe... but here... its u alone with your guitar... n its been a long time since i sang on stage while playing my guitar.. ALONE... ahhaa....

I played so so so many wrong chords... my mind seemed to wander off when i'm right in da middle of singing my song~~ cham la.. too tired maybe...

I seriously need more practice....

FInal course registration~

2009-09-15T13:05:00.002+08:00

Just registered courses for my final sem. SAD~@ Can't believe time passes so so fast~

Anyway.. heres my time table~!

Monday: 8-10am, 4-6pm
Tueaday: 12-3pm, 4-7pm
Wednesday: NO CLASSES~!
Thursday: 10-11am
Friday: 10-1pm, 2-4pm, 4-6pm Eeks~

So yeah~ quite happy with my time table for the nx sem.. I kinda have 2 days free~!! Although Friday is kinda hectic.. but..who cares? hahahah... yayness~! :)

100 truths

2009-09-15T11:08:00.003+08:00

Wow its been ages since i last did something like this~ HAHA

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Water with some tea mix.
2. Last phone call: Sze Lin.
3. Last text message: Jiayi.
4. Last song you listened to: You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift (On the radio).
5. Last time you cried: 2 days ago - after calling my grandma.. Long story.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Yes.
7. Been cheated on: Don't think so but if backstabbed, yes. Once too many in fact.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: yes.
9. Lost someone special: Yes, my grandpa.
10. Been depressed: Was super depressed back in the past.
11. Been drunk and threw up: Been a bit drunk, yes. Never threw up though.. :P

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12.Black.
13.Pink.
14.Green.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yep~!
16. Fallen out of love: Nope~ It happened on da last day of 2008. :P
17. Laughed until you cried: ~~Not that I remember~~ (I laughed until I cried on the day at Tenji.. Coconut incident HAHA)
18. Met someone who changed you: Nope. Kinda hard to change me since I'm so stubborn.. :)
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes definitely~ Made me a look at a lot of stuff much clearly.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, all the time in fact. Talking bad abt me of cuz. lol

21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: No.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Easily 80%? But I don't really talk to them.
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2.
24. Do you have any pets: Hamster.
25. Do you want to change your name? : Nope~ Love my name the way it is.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: U know wad? I don't really remember! I remember getting into a really big fight with my mum on my birthday dats all.. lol
27. What time did you wake up today: 7.30?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting and watching some show.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: The day I finish my internship. haha
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Last month.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Studied harder back in high school? It would have led to a lot of other stuff.
32. What are you listening to right now: nothing: Colleague playing songs on her hp. Duno da title though~
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope, don't think so.
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: Not being able to finish my work~!
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook & Lowyat forum.
36. Whats your real name: Ng Ying Tian.
37. Nicknames: Nicole, E.T., Tian Er, Swan, Button..
38. Relationship Status: Single and avilable! :P
39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio.
40. Male or female?: Female.
41. Elementary?: SJK (C) Foon Yew 1
42. Middle School?: SMK Sultan Ismail
43. High school/college?: Multimedia University Cyberjaya.
44. Hair colour: Very dark brown.
45. Long or short: Long
46. Height: Between 165cm-167cm.. not too sure..
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Won't say that I have, not really.. so no. HAHA
48: What do you like about yourself?: Erm.. Don't really know..
49. Piercings: None, yea suprising for a gal.
50. Tattoos: None.
51. Righty or lefty: Right.

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Not exactly a surgery.. I had some stitches under chin TWICE when i was young.
53. First piercing: None.
54. First best friend: First 1 huh... I don't really remember. HAHA.
55. First sport you joined: Erm.. Short put?
56. First vacation: If overseas, Perth, Australia.
58. First pair of trainer: Nike i think.

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Nothing.
60. Drinking: Water with some Tea Mix
61. I’m about to: Have lunch.
62. Listening to: Nothing.
63. Waiting on: Friday~~~~ YUM! lolx

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Yeah.
65. Get Married?: Of course.
66. Career?: Some successful businesswoman maybe? HAH.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Both.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller.
70. Older or Younger: Doesn't really matter as long as hez matured enuf :)
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Both?.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both? haha
73. Sensitive or loud: Both? I'm greedy ain't I?
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationships.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: hmm...

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: Nope.
77. Drank hard liquor: Yeah.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yeah both. haha very blur me.
79. Sex on first date: No way~!
80. Broken someone’s heart: Erm.. Don't think so gua~~
82. Been arrested: Nope!!
83. Turned someone down: Yeah.
84. Cried when someone died: Yes. My grandpa. I cried so hard I almost passed out.
85. Fallen for a friend?: Well we normally fall for friends rite? ahah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Yeah can say most of the time.
87. Miracles: Yepx!
88. Love at first sight: Erm.. okok la.
89. Heaven: Yeah.
90. Santa Claus: ERR... HAHAA
91. Kiss on the first date: Maybe?
92. Angels: Aww.. well.. guess so

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Nope
95. Did you sing today?: Yep! Every single day!
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: If it meant boyfriends, no.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: Erm.. back to when I was 16?
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: Wow I don't really remember anything great that happened last year actually. lololx
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: No.. why should I?
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Yep!

Feeling happy~ :)

2009-09-13T17:08:00.002+08:00

It's been a few hectic weeks for me.. I've been working on weekdays.. Song practices~ Goin out on weekends~

So yea.... I've been really tired... But happy as well.. Hey.. I'm not complaining~ :P

I've been having so much fun.. It's been some time since I felt like that... Other than feeling tired after work everyday and returning to a kinda empty house n eating alone... :)

At Work~

2009-09-10T12:46:00.001+08:00

Since working here, I've gotten a a lot of weird responses from clients.. Askin me to call tml, or nx week... but this is by far the most interesting 1~!

CAN YOU CALL BACK NEXT MONTH?

LOLX~!

Wadeva~

2009-09-10T12:25:00.003+08:00

Whenever I try my best in doing something, I expect people to appreciate it.

Even if you don't appreciate it, the best you can do is keep quiet and at least let me self indulge.

But wad always happens is.. People never keep quiet.. Let alone appreciate.

Well you can say I don't take criticism very well. I don't care.

Whomever it may concern, pls read this.

2009-09-09T00:53:00.004+08:00

I've already apologized not once but twice to u. Please do understand the reasons for my reaction that night. Its not that you don't know why. You saw how much stuff was in my car. If u still want to blame me n continue to ignore me, I have nothing else to say anymore.

Friends? Not!

2009-08-24T14:02:00.002+08:00

So tired of the word FRIENDS

random

2009-08-19T12:42:00.002+08:00

为什么我每次都要受这些种种的委屈?

为什么无论我做什么都是错的，都是不对的，都一定会有人不高兴，有人不爽？

我也有我自己的事忙。。难道我这么得空，这么闲来找骂，来受人家的气？

换成是别人，也会这样被对待吗？也会有这样的遭遇吗？

关心是一种错。。明明是出自关心也要被冤枉。。每个人就只会怪我。。

自己死了都不知道是怎样死的。

Dear Grandpa

2009-08-12T01:24:00.004+08:00

Dear Grandpa,

Last week was my uni's convo.. Saw lots of my friends graduating... n it really made me kinda emotional...

Dad said to me:" When its ur time to graduate nx year, ask your friends if they have any extra passes.. those who dont live nearby or their parents can't come.. so we'll have 1 more pass for ur grandmother to go into the hall"

I tried my very best not to let him see I was already tearing up.... It would've been 2 extra passes.... 1 for grandma n 1 for you...

Grandpa... I really want u to c me graduate.. U being there really means a lot to me... You always asked me to study hard.. I know how u have wanted to c me graduate frm university.. You'd be able to tell your friends how happy u are to c ur grandaughter graduate... I want to make you the happiest and proudest grandpa in the world...

I haven't had the chance to drive you around... I wanted to drive you to the temple... To where ever you wanted....

I haven't had the chance to buy u dinner with my own salary...

Why did u have to leave so soon?

The 1st time I drove your car... I cried.... And I still cry everytime I think of you... even now as I'm writing this post... I really really miss you... You have no idea how much you matter to me... You have been a doting grandfather... The best grandpa one could ever have...

I love you grandpa...

a day in office~

2009-08-11T14:25:00.001+08:00

This is me trying not to look too pissed off~

There are 13 phone lines in my company....

N onli 1 is working...

Damn~

recollection~

2009-08-10T11:09:00.000+08:00

Working has been really boring for me... haihx... i've been dreaming in the office the whole day...

I juz read through some of my older posts.. like.. 3 years ago.. n realized nana's name 1st appeared in a post dated 11 feb 2006~! dats like... the 1st week in mmu malacca~ haha...

I really miss those days..

neways.. goin to malacca nx week! yays~! :P

friends~

2009-08-06T16:22:00.002+08:00

It hurts to c ppl I care about suffer... it really does..

Fed Up

2009-08-05T10:51:00.002+08:00

Why is it always my fault????? Super fed up now.

Its been a super bad day for me.. I bumped into some1's car.. n its because he double parked! n now i have to pay for it

I cried..

i got so stressed and tensed up, i took half a day off.

公公。。你在天之灵，保佑我好吗？

Not my best day~ haha

2009-08-04T23:28:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I really do wonder.. Why certain things always happen to certain ppl..

But then again.. Who am I to judge them?

Anyway... had dinner with ZY juz now... Thnx for da dinner!

U know wad? I got lost on the way back, drove 1 big big circle back to the same place...

And when I finally reached Cyber, I drove into a big hole n my car got stuck..

Lucky for me, 4 taxi drivers helped me out.. :)

Anyways.. performing in IMU tml.. Hope everything goes well..

ouch~

2009-08-02T10:32:00.000+08:00

My eyes hurt~

Guitar

2009-07-27T16:07:00.005+08:00

I wouldn't say that teaching guitar is my dream or passion.. but teaching guitar was something i had wanted to do for a long time..

I've learnt guitar since the end of Form 2.. I had my 1st performance in Form 3.. I nv really had any formal training whatsoever.. I learnt mostly from seniors in my high school back then.

Since then, I found that my passion in music was actually guitar and not piano that i have been learning since 6? I don't really remember.

Anyway.. I've been playing guitar ever since..

I still remember I saw my seniors playing guitar n my friends singing the song Eternal Flame to it..I fell in love with guitar instantly.. I went home n told my dad:" Hey.. U know what, I saw my seniors playing guitar in school n its pretty cool.. I wanna learn guitar.." n guess what?? Not long after that, I saw a new guitar in my house.. my dad actually bought a guitar for me~! I can't tell u how happy I was.. Although it was an ordinary Fair Lady guitar (similar to Kapok), I still loved it..

My mum enrolled me in my 1st guitar class.. I was there for about a month or so n the guitar teacher stopped teaching.. then i sorta changed to another teacher who i thought i was wasting my time there cuz i couldnt really get anything frm him.. well thats the end of my acoustic guitar classes..

I kept on playing until 1 day in form 4, I wanted to try out classical guitar.. so i went n learn classical guitar from another teacher.. he was da greatest guitar teacher i've ever had.. he taught me lots of values n views on life other than classical guitar.. although in the end, i found out i still liked acoustic guitar more n i stopped my classes, i still keep in contact with this particular teacher.. Mr. Albert (also known as Mr. Bert) n hez Hainanese by the way.. A pretty crazy 1! 1 of the most talented bassist i've ever seen too~

After i graduated from high school, i went to Malacca MMU n proceeded there... i went on participating in various events n performances. Same goes for Cyberjaya mmu after i went there for my degree..

Since then i have changed a few guitar.. The 1st 1 was Fair Lady, 2nd was an unknown brand (I have donated it to my music club after i graduated from high school), 3rd was my Yamaha C-70 (classical guitar), 4th was my good old Yamaha APX-3... and the Taylor guitar that i'm currently using is in fact my 5th guitar.. after my Yamaha APX-3 died.. Yes it was killed by my ceiling fan.. I accidentally held it too high up~ T.T

Every since i graduated from Form 5, I've thought of teaching guitar while waiting for my results.. I got my offer letter to MMU soon after n I never got to teach guitar...

I had a chance to teach guitar in my foundation year in Malacca.. I was helping the guitar teacher out as a tutor in the guitar class.. its was very fun actually.. to teach friends..

Now i have a chance to teach guitar again.. My roomie's friend is looking for guitar teachers for her music academy.. i'm kinda interested but my dad doesn't seem to approve of it.. He says I shouldn't be teaching guitar since i'm in my final year already.. I was thinking the opposite. I'm already in my final year n i really hope i get to do the things i like before i graduate.. after that, i might not have the time or the opportunity to do so anymore..

Oh well.. we'll c how it goes on thursday.. meeting up with the person in charge.. :)

Rants~ (pls ignore)

2009-07-23T20:01:00.002+08:00

Me: AAAAAAAAAAA~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO FED UP WITH MY BOSS~!!!!!!!

Nana: 为什么~~~ tell me whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy whyy???? huhuhu AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANT FOOD AHHH SUPER HUNGRY!!! LET US GOOOOOOO LAAAA AAALALALALA

Yes we are shouting out to the world~

My Boss

2009-07-22T17:07:00.005+08:00

My boss pisses me off~!!! He asks us to call ppl up to market our service: Telesales Outsourcing.. But he nv told us anything about what we actually do!!

Our conversation

Boss: So you call them and tell them we do bla n bla n book an appointment with them so I can go over to explain to them more.

Me: Okayy~ So what do we do actually?

Boss: You dont tell them much. Thats not your job. If you already explain everything to them, there won't be any point of me meeting up with them right? Just tell them very briefly we mainly do telesales outsourcing and customer service. Thats all.

Me: Uh huh~ So what if they ask more?

Boss: Just cut them off. That's how you do it.

Me: What they ask us what do we do? As a matter of fact, what do we ACTUALLY do to help them increase sales?

Boss: That you don't need to know. Just book an appointment. Tell them we want to collaborate with them, help them find ways to increase sales and cut costs at the same time.

Me: Okayy~ So I'm supposed to tell them we do telesales outsourcing, book an appointment and cut them off if they ask more?

Boss: Yes.

End

ok so dats basically what we were told to do... So we did it~ n of course ppl's reply was:

Huh? what is that u r doing? do you have more information? can u send it over 1st? What is Telesales Marketing?

n so we told our boss their reply.. n u know what he told my roomie?

Boss: That is why you must 1st understand what we are doing before you start calling people~

Roomie Nana: That's the problem. We don't know what we are actually doing..

Boss: If you don't understand, why didn't you ask in the first place?

Me: (In my mind) WTF?! I asked you SOOOOOO many times what do we do and how are we supposed to help them increase sales n u juz tell me I don't need to know all these. My work is to book an appointment THATS ALL.

PLEASE LA~ Who will agree to meet you without knowing who the hell you are and have no single idea what you do? You think people will meet you jus on the term TELESALES MARKETING?

And who told me I don't need to knw so much IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

OMG i have no idea how to deal with him. Someone please tell me how.

Mr Nice Guy? NOT!

2009-07-20T12:26:00.003+08:00

Some people just have it their way. They never need to work hard or strive for it. Things just goes the way they want it to be. I've seen so many of them in my life. Never once they need to worry about anything.

Why does these people get all the privileges while some of us work our ass off but never get credited for anything? I feel so unjust for all of us that that work so hard.

I'm super lazy to tell my story all over again but those who know me well should know what happened in the past. I worked so hard for the things I like, my passion.. and in the end? I got nothing. NOTHING.

I know the world is unfair. There are still golf clubs in the wolrd that blacks are not allowed into, even Tiger Woods. But I just can't help feeling stupid n sorry for those who tried so hard but failed in the end.

Sometimes being too nice will only lead to you yourself being used and left to die.

Working Life~

2009-07-17T18:52:00.004+08:00

I haven't been blogging lately have I? Yea I've been busy with work.. I started my internship or as we mmu peeps call it industrial training.. I started working on 15th June.. So it's been a month now..

Working life has been boring.. except the fact that I get to FINALLY use my makeup stash which has been piling up.. lolx~

Anyway.. what I do in office everyday is basically taking calls for Shakeys Pizza.. Call customers n advertise our client's programmes or the stuff they r selling.. do reports n design websites (nana does it all~ hha)

My company does outsource telemarketing.. so everyday we r doing marketing for clients.. Hope it has some relevance to my major (Management with Multimedia) since it has to do with PR.. :P

Anyway.. will try to update often..

So yea.. feel free to dial 1300 88 1818 to order Shakeys Pizza from me!

random

2009-06-28T20:48:00.001+08:00

是不想，不是不能吧？

dreams

2009-06-21T10:47:00.003+08:00

I'm going crazy... I don't know if its because i'm too tired.. or I'm just stressed out..

I keep having dreams about people dying.. 1st it was my dad.. dat was before the sem break... n this week itself... i first dreamt that my grandmother died.. then my mom... n i also dreamt about my grandfather who has already passed away..

What is wrong with me?

Dear Di~

2009-06-03T23:23:00.003+08:00

"takecare alright and, really wanna thank you for being such an awesome friend for all these years.. really sorry i wasn't even half of it.. "

A friend said this to me..

Instantly brought tears in my eyes...

Looking 6 years back when we 1st got to know each other.. It sure has been a long time..

Thank you too for everything.. you've been a great friend n a great little bro to me too..

Bride Wars; Friends~

2009-06-02T13:59:00.005+08:00

Just finish watching Bride Wars starring Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway.

It's a story oif 2 best friends becoming enemies because none of them would agree to change their wedding dates which was accidentally scheduled on the same date at the same venue. They tried to ruin each others wedding but in the end, they realized their best friend was missing in their lives and nothing was happening according to what they had planned... Finally they realized their mistakes, apologized and made up..

Quoted from the movie..

"Sometimes in life, there really are bonds formed that can never be broken.

Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what.

Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding.

But there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime;
The one person who knows you;
Sometimes better than you know yourself;
Is the same person who's been standing beside you all along. "

I really believe in best friends.. I really believe that best friends do exist.. For some, friends exist only for a purpose: to be used. Sad but true enough. Many people nowadays use each other to get what they want. To them, there are no real friends in this world. Only those worthy of being used, and those who are not.

I dunno about others but if I can call some1 my close friend, I really truly care about them...
Yes nobody is perfect so we have to embrace their negative sides and accept them for who they are..

Whatever it is, I'll keep believing in "Friends Forever!" :)

Blog

2009-05-28T19:47:00.002+08:00

有事情, 敢做就不要怕被人讲.

有东西, 不爽就说出来.

Blog本来就是用来抒发情感,自我表达的一个地方,我敢写出来的东西,就不怕给人看,也不需向任何人交代.

如果看了又不爽,就干脆不要看.

Coffee anyone?

2009-05-27T03:35:00.006+08:00

Quoted from a friend (you know who you are :P) :"Caring a person is oni to a certain extent. Don care any more than that else it'll turn to feelings or annoyance."

I totally agree to that.. To think that I have always placed friends above myself is totally stupid...

Anyway, not gonna make myself miserable over these kinda things d..

Was reading through Wikipedia on PMS... n guess wat came out under the list of risk factors?

High Caffeine Intake

HAHAHA... okayy.. probably this is one of the reasons causing my recent mood swings~

I'm drinking too much coffee.. yes yes.. i know.. :P

______________________________________________________________

Anywayz~ had a great time today at Seoul Garden, IOI with Nana n Kenny.

Chicken~

Beef with some chicken in the middle~

Seafood~!

Yes it was expensive... RM40+ per person.. but it was definitely worth it and enjoyable!

And I got to drive Kenny's manual car around Cyberjaya 3 times!!! Yippee! :)

Besties

2009-05-26T05:39:00.004+08:00

I must be happy... At least try to be happy.. Or even act like I'm happy so I won't cause so much trouble..

I miss my buddies in JB..

MS, LY, n YX...

Although we're like... in 3 different places.. 3 different countries to be exact... We nv really forgot about each other.. We would lose contact for months.. Meet up, n still be as close as we were months or even years ago...

I nv had any great memories during high school... But I would say the greatest thing was knowing them...

I miss the time when YX would come to my house almost everyday... Watch a movie or 2... Eat pizza... Chat... n play force me to play Chocobo with her on my PS1...

Then we would meet up with LY, hang out at YX's place..

MS would meet us and all 4 of us will have a sleepover at my house... We'd go eat crabs... Go back to my house and chat about everything under the sun...

We'd go to Singapore together n take stupid photos throughout...

With them, there are no walls around me...

No judging...

No lies...

No sarcasm...

With them,

Theres laughter...

Theres sincerity...

Theres care...

Cuz they

Know me...

Understand me...

and Accept me for who I am...

With them,

At least I can let go of everything n be myself...

Really miss the gals... Hope we get to meet again soon...

Equality

2009-05-24T22:39:00.004+08:00

Quoted from CH during lunch today:" You are just a bridge."

Come to think of it, I don't disagree. In fact, i realized I have been a bridge all along.

Since secondary school, people have always used me to get near to the people around me.

Until now, it's still the same thing. I'm still being used so that people can get near to the people around me.

Why is it I'm the one being used all the time?

Guys want to know the girls around me, they come to me.

Girls want to know the guys around me, they come to me.

Guys want to know stuff about the girls they like, they come to me.

Girls want to know stuff about the guys they like, they come to me.

Other than that, they won't bother to talk to me AT ALL.

I have always been listening to other people's problems, other people's love stories.

Why is it when i need someone, no one's there?

I always envy those people with a bunch of friends that will do anything for them, friends that will be there for them no matter what.

But it doesn't happen in my case does it?

The thing about me is that I always go all out for my friends no matter what. And most of the time, I hope to get treated the same.

People always tell me, treat people they way you want them to treat you back.

That is what I always do. I care about the people around me, I talk to them, I worry about them.

And what do I get in the end?

Just another broken heart.

What have I done wrong to be treated this way?

For once, I just want to be treated equally, fairly, and sincerely. Why can't anyone do so?

quote

2009-05-24T03:28:00.001+08:00

Quoted from the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

"We're made to lose people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?"

random

2009-05-23T22:52:00.004+08:00

I always mean it when I say something. Why can't everyone do the same?

If you don't mean it, don't say it.

Sometimes, it only takes a little to show that you care.

Sadly, no one cares.

I should just go hide in 1 corner so no one would notice me.

Fillet-o-Dog

2009-05-21T19:21:00.003+08:00

When we study too much...

We tend to stress out...

We tend to do wierd stuff...

and that is how Fillet-O-Fish became

FILLET-O-DOG

累。。。

2009-05-20T00:36:00.005+08:00

现实是残酷的。。我要一直提醒我自己。。我必须要接受这个事实。。

怎么最近发生的一连串事情都那么熟悉呢？好像以前全都发生过似的。。好像旧剧重演的感觉。。

我只想开开心心过完大学的最后一年。。我只是想要一些真正属于自己的东西。。这样都不行吗？难道我连让自己开心的权利都没有吗？

我好累。。

nightmare

2009-05-19T14:08:00.005+08:00

I had the worst dream today... I slept at 9am in the morning... woke up at 12.30... in tears... n i couldnt stop myself from crying although i know it isnt real....

i dreamt that my dad was going to die.. he told us the doc said he had 1 week left only...

laz week he called n said he was goin to buy me an i phone for my birthday... in the dream.. he was telling me he woudnlt be able to do so anymore... he was hugging me n telling me sorry for not being able to be there anymore...

i couldnt stop myself from crying.. i hugged him tight n told him i loved him...

the dream was so real... even now when i think about it, my eyes start to tear up again..

i realized i have a fear of losing my loved ones...

my grandfather's death has already had a great impact on me.. i still can remember just 1 year ago... i just finished my 3rd final paper... i received a call from my mum... telling me that grandpa has passed away... i've never been so heart broken in my life... i couldnt accept the fact... days ago i was still talking with him on the phone.. telling him to take care of himself.. n he just went like that.... the pain was excruciating... i couldnt believe that i wont be able to see his face anymore... thinking about it just breaks my heart all over again... my grandpa has always doted on me the most.. i've had so much nice memories with him.. i really miss receiving phone calls from him everyday asking me whenther i have eaten or not....
he would ask me about my exams... ask me to study hard...
he would insist on giving me fifty or hundred dollar notes every time i went back... asked me to keep the money for my own use..
he fetched me everyday to from school n would bring me for luch at my favorite stalls...
he taught me how to eat indian food..
he would come to school 1 hour earlier to fetch me just to make sure i wouldnt have to wait for him after school...
i wanted so much for him to see me graduate from university..
i wanted to make him proud...
i wanted to be the best grandaughter hez ever had...
i wanted him to be the happiest grandfather in the world...

My grandpa has been a big part of my life.. n now that hez not there anymore.. it feels as if a big part of my life is missing..

I really miss him alot... I know hez up there watching me.. keeping me safe from harm..

finals

2009-05-18T00:57:00.003+08:00

I'm slacking a lot this time around.. exam is onli hours away.. n i'm here blogging.. what on earth am i doing? I'm supposed to lock myself in the library 2 weeks before the finals... n yet i'm going out almost everyday.. i have no idea how on earth am i goin to get through this exam...

my lungs are drowning in phlegm.. n i cant do anything about it..

random

2009-05-15T22:27:00.002+08:00

The latest addition of Things-To-Bring-In-My-Bag-Everyday. Yes... an inhaler.. juz in case I get an asthma attack or have difficulty breathing suddenly..

internship

2009-05-15T21:52:00.005+08:00

I'm having a lot of problems with my internship recently.. my roomie suddenly had no car to use and decided to stay back at her house... which totally landed the nuke on me..

I've tried so hard to persuade my parents to let me work in cyber... i really wanted to prove to them i can do it on my own... for once.. i want no help from them at all... they have been over protective throughout my whole life... juz because i'm a gal and the only child doesnt mean that i cant be independant right?

anyways... i had initially planned to take bus to work everyday.. i even called up rapidkl to confirm the bus i should take to get there... but after my friends found out, they helped me think of different solutions...

so... DREW (he requested his name to be in brown color) n QIN YI 勤毅 (he requested his name to be super big), thnx for offering to lend me ur car... n bx, thnx for offering to fetch me... really appreciate it.. it really has been a long time since i felt that some1 really cared... thnx..

My wonderful life...

2009-05-13T03:06:00.002+08:00

I didn't know that having friends can be such a superficial thing.. Maybe I do know.. I'm just lying to myself to make everything around me look wonderful.

Hospital Visit

2009-05-10T18:24:00.004+08:00

Yes yes... the guys finally convinced me to go see a doctor... they fetched me to the putrajaya hospital juz now after luch since it was the nearest 1 that was open.. all the nearby clinics are closed on sundays....

the nurse checked my breathing.. n said there were "cracking" sounds in my lungs... what was that supposed to mean? lolx.. anyway.. she sent me off to get gas... AGAIN....

n so they bought me into a room... did some cocktail mix with a few different liquids.. then screwed the bottle underneath the oxygen mask and gave it to me...

after 20 mins inhaling the gas... my arms and legs went numb... my hands were shaking.. n i couldnt even walk properly.. seems that the medicine will make u a bit shaky.. since its some kind of relaxant...

I was given a letter to go see another doctor in the clinic.. will have to go over tml i guess..

heres a pic of me with the oxygen mask.. dont worry... i'm not dead yet...

asthma... again

2009-05-09T05:01:00.002+08:00

I kinda had an asthma attack just now.. I dont know how it happened... i just started coughing a lot.. and the next thing i knew.. a lot of phlegm was forming in my throat.. n i had some difficulty breathing... whats wrong with me? I'm really worried....

I check online for the symptoms of asthma.. heres wad i found:

Asthma Symptoms:Shortness of breath, episodes of wheezing. coughing, tightness of chest and difficulty exchanging air through lungs

Basically the only thing that hasnt happened is episodes of wheezing.. If that happens again like what happened back in my beta year, i'll have to go to the clinic for gas again.. That time i coughed for 2 months straight n went to 7 doctors.. the wheezing came around the 6th or 7th week... i was literally breathing with a wheezing sound... n i went to the clinic 3 or 4 times to get gas... i dont have an inhaler.. so i have to go to the clinic where they put an oxygen mask on u... n screw on a bottle of liquid under the mask where it will emit the vaporized medication.. its some kind of muscle relaxant i think...

but anyway.. glad that i'm okay now.. :)

Assigments...

2009-05-08T20:41:00.002+08:00

Finally I've completed and submitted all my assignments... I have 1 more presentation next Tuesday n everything will be done~! At least thats something worth celebrating.. right?

random

2009-05-08T11:18:00.001+08:00

ok i feel hurt.. to say the least... u guys dont want me there.. i get it now...

down~

2009-05-05T13:45:00.002+08:00

Recently I keep feeling down for no reason... I don't know why.. I can't seem to find a purpose to do anything... It's like I'm wasting my time.. It's been a long time since I felt like this... I can stare at my laptop screen for a long time not even know what am I doing at all.. I really feel i'm reverting back to my old self again.. n its not a good thing.. i really suffered a lot in the past.. I'm scared to even think about it... but what can i do?

I really should start studying already.. I'm slacking way too much..

Asthma...

2009-05-05T04:36:00.003+08:00

I really think I got asthma.. I mean... it's getting worse... I keep having difficulties in breathing... At times, I even need to breathe through my mouth to get enough air in.. And most of the time, I have the feeling as if there is not enough oxygen going into my lungs.. Its like I'm breathing in nothing..

Recently I've been inhaling a lot of second hand smoke.. I think this is one of the reasons why I'm having all these problems... Sometimes I feel as if my lungs are going to collapse anytime or there's the feeling I might get an asthma attack... I can start coughing suddenly until I feel like vomiting... Suddenly phlegm juz starts accumulating in my throat.. I don't even dare to breath in too hard..

I'm really very worried about my condition.. And I don't know what to do about it.. I know telling my parents would be suicidal cuz my mum will go crazy over this... I've been sick for the past 3 weeks.. I really hope the symptoms will go away after I recover.. I think i should lessen my intake of cold drinks.. Maybe that'll help..

Recital Post Mortem

2009-05-03T17:42:00.002+08:00

We had our recital post mortem a few days ago.. I was quite disappointed in the attendance.. very few people came despite we had already posted up the announcement 4 days ago.. I expected ppl to complain about the recital as usual.. but i did not expect those who talked the most to be our organizing committee... I'm not against anyone but hey, if u has so many comments n thoughts about the way we did things, y didnt u ppl voice out earlier? its not that you didnt had the chance to do so... When we asked u all to voice up during meetings, u all juz sat there with ur arms folded n shaked ur head.. n when everything is over, u ppl suddenly became the best critiques in the world. This event is not about the top 3 decision makers onli.. its about the whole organizing committee. Quote from a friend:" don't forget... we are all here because of music". Since when has this event become so political? n since when has it become a fight over power? I remember having so much fun back in my foundation years in melaka. There were no such thing as politics. We worked together, strived together.. all because of music.. n now, what do i see? ppl quarreling over authorities, quarreling over the decisions being made. There was even a heated conversation over the definition of composing. Since when has music become so stereotyped? Music used to be something to express how we feel... something in which we can chanel our emotions and present it to the audience.. but from that day's debate, it seemed that composing was onli melody and words. full stop. nothing else. well, i will never agree to that n i stand firm on what i believe in. Compositional techniques are the methods used to create music. Useful skills in composition include writing musical notation, instrumentation, and handling musical ensembles (orchestration). Other skills include extended techniques such as improvisation, musical montage, preparing instruments, using non-traditional instruments, and other methods of sound production. I got this from Wikipedia. If song arrangement is not a part of composing, then pls tell me what is compositional techniques?

anyway, enough said. I wanna extend my apologies to a few person also.. i was in a super bad mood that day until i shouted at a few of my friends. i really feel bad for doing that.. but i have been so stressed out for the past month..

i'm just glad that everything is over..

random

2009-04-30T03:53:00.001+08:00

why do ppl juz like to call me names? i know i'm not pretty, i dont act like a gal.. fine.. but pls dont call me weird names and expect me to take it as a compliment ok? i know its never something good... n every1 refuses to tell me y... i dont even know wad to react to these names.. Its like goin back to my high school years where i suffered for 1 whole year... I dont even know who my real friends are.. all these insecurities are coming back... the same stuff happening all over again...

maybe i should juz revert back to how i used to be...

random~

2009-04-30T00:39:00.001+08:00

I know.. i'm the extra 1... i always am..

2 Days After Recital

2009-04-26T00:53:00.003+08:00

Yea.. recital is finally over.. We've done it again.. although this year the PA sucked.. nonetheless, the quality of our songs were better... in fact, it has been getting better every year.. seems that our emcee is interested in getting our songs into the music industry.. hope everything works out.. :)

finally i'm free from all the stress.. all our hard work paid off.. it was great working with alvin n having him as our director.. made many new friends along the way..

photos will be up soon..

p.s. I'm still sick..

1 day left - recital

2009-04-22T04:55:00.002+08:00

i'm officially sick... hows dat?

got another bad news from the emcee... hopefully everything will be fine...

y some people dont understand that we dont have much time left??? haihx..

I'm so vexed and tired... n now that i'm sick...

kinda missed practice today.. overslept... i totally knocked out... from 6 to 8... had weird dreams..

i'm coughing like nobody's business... i dont know how am i supposed to sing if i continue coughing...

i really need a break from all this...

2 days left - recital

2009-04-21T02:21:00.002+08:00

got some bad news from the hair n makeup sponsors today.. haihx.. luckily we had a laz minute idea to fix the problem.. 1 thing we learnt today.. quote from alvin:"money doesn't solve everything."

tml alvin will be goin down to jb to get the event t shirts.. hope everything will be fine...

anyway, today's practice was quite okay... every1 performed quite well..

ticket sales are not gd enuf... will need to put in more effort to sell tickets tml d..

I'm falling sick~~

3 days left - recital

2009-04-20T02:59:00.002+08:00

judging from today's rehearsal... i can say some songs are not up to standard yet... including my songs... i'm really extremely stressed out now...

y cant some ppl understand that there are only 4 days left before the recital.. 4 FREAKING DAYS~!!! n they still wanna make changes... they r still unsure of what to play... they dont even knw the chords... dont they feel at least A BIT nervous?

n the 2 songs i'm singing.. i totally screwed it.. i'm really worried about my singing.. i keep going out of tune.. it would be a disaster if i go out of tune on the night of the event.. haihx...

i really need all the help n confidence for these last few days to make this event successful...

stressed out..

2009-04-19T02:33:00.003+08:00

i thought everything would be fine today... didnt seem so... was asked to go for practice when the total number of ppl showing up for 4 song practices were like 4 ppl only? pls la if there are no ppl, juz cancel off the practice... its saturday n i dont even get a day off..

it was halfway through practice.. when some1 said sumthing to me.. i couldnt take it anymore.. walked out of da room n cried.. luckily there was some1 with me.. the same person that made me cry.. ironic isnt it? he took me on a car ride around campus... talked to me until i felt better.. i'm really totally stressed out..

stressed stressed stressed~~~

2009-04-18T04:29:00.003+08:00

I have been through a lot of ups n downs these few weeks.. really getting frustrated over lots of stuff.. recital would be one of them.. I really don't appreciate people not turning up for no reason.. If you r not coming, let me know at least.. don't go MIA when i'm frantically searching everywhere for you..

Another thing.. a phone call yesterday made me miss my class.. great..

I'm getting really short tempered these days.. really cant keep my temper down.. but so far i have not shouted at anybody.. yet..

n i'm really stressed out singing... n no1 is taking me seriously... when i tell them i'm stressed.. every1 just brush me off like i'm talking crap.. fine.. n when others get stressed.. ppl go to them n calm them down.. n when its me, the juz tell me:"you'll be fine." End of story. why is it that no1 is listening to me at all? do i look like i'm dat strong and i'm able to take in everything? even the stress and the nerves? i seriously cant take it.. but anyway.. who cares? no 1 will..

ok i'm getting emotional.. haih.. better stop my ramblings.. signing out..

Stressed~

2009-04-09T01:59:00.002+08:00

I feel so stressed out n tired now.. I duno what am i doing wrong.. my voice just doesn't sound right.. every1 is telling me theres something wrong.. but when i ask more, no1 can tell me what did i do wrong.. I'm so frustrated at myself... I'm worried i might just spoil the song.. i dont want the comments to come out like: "this singer sucks", "she cant sing at all", "she went out of tune", "she totally spoilt the song".... N i onli have 2 weeks to make it right... what am I supposed to do?

I think i've been pushing myself too hard recently.. with all the practices n stuff.. I had an asthma attack 2 days ago.. n its the 1st time it ever happened to me.. I started coughing suddenly n the next thing i knew it, i had difficulty breathing.. took me 10 minutes to regulate my breathing again.. i broke out in cold sweat... i was shaking all over by the time the asthma stopped... i couldnt even talk properly.. hope it doesnt happen again..

I'm addicted to coffee recently... at 1st it was 1 cup per day... started drinking more n more.. i had 4 cups of coffee today itself.. n this has been going on for 2 weeks.. n its not helping to keep me focused... i cant seem to feel the effect of caffeine anymore..

theres something else making me very frustrated recently.. i have made things clear.. hope things will be fine soon..

Holidays~!

2009-03-18T04:37:00.002+08:00

My sleeping habit is a mess.. I have been sleeping at 5am in the morning almost everyday for the past few weeks.. Not good for me I know.. but what to do.. Until I finally finish everything I'm doing (surfing, arranging documents, chatting, gaming.. etc) ITS ALREADY 5.. lolx..

My friends have been trying to pair me up with every guy I hang out with recently.. haha... anyways... enjoying my single life now.. not gonna rush into a new relationship.. take things slow~ heh..

recently have been busy looking for jobs for internship.. i hope i can find a job in Cyberjaya.. i really dont feel like goin back to jb to work.. especially when i found out that i'm gonna work for my relative.. not that its not good.. but i just dont like the idea of working for a relative.. although the thought of being able to drive n a sure A in my results seems very tempting.. I'll still try n look for jobs in Cyberjaya.. going back to jb will be my last resort..

Having holidays right now.. enjoying every bit of it~ heh.. went out with keesiong today~! didnt think we would be able to meet up cuz none of us knew we were having holidays.. haha.. saw him online n we chatted... found out both of us are in jb.. wad a coincedence... n he paid for my movie ticket! so nice of him.. thnx ks! hee.. n we gave up on hanwei.. super fed up.. got gf d dun wanna go out with us d laaaaa NVM.. lolx.. jk la.. anyways.. had fun today.. watched Marley and Me.. quite a nice show to watch la.. a story about a dog and a family.. got me crying in the end.. :P

anyway.. v tired now.. going shopping with godma tomorrow! gotta force myself to sleep earlier tonight.. its already almost 1.. eeks! signing out! Nitex~!

Hectic Week

2009-03-08T14:55:00.003+08:00

Hey guys.. its been a month in to my new trimester... i've been super bz.. in juz 1 month.. i have already performed in 3 different events.. lolx... of cuz i enjoyed all of them..

1st was Chinese New Year Extravaganza... I was da guitarist for 2 songs.. Qin Yi's Huo Yuan Jia and Ghim Yao & Hui Yen's Xiao Jiu Wo.. It was nice la.. All of us had fun..

2nd was Japanese Cultural Night.. i was da singer! like for da 1st time.. singing japanese songs! LOLX... I actually didnt really have confidence in this... cuz i always thought i couldnt sing.. i nv thought my voice was good... yes i love to sing n i always hoped that i can perform on stage n have a band play for me.. but i'm always scared of singing on stage... not stage fright... but i juz dont think that any1 would think i can sing at all.. so yea.. i dont know if i screwed up the song.. but i still kinda enjoyed it.. haha

3rd 1 was yesterday night! a wedding!! i actually played for a wedding!! hahaa... its a first for me man.. 20+ songs... live band at a wedding... sounds so pro right? HAHAHA... no la.. actually there were some glitches here n there but overall it was great.. n all of us got an ang pow! n 1st time we got paid so much... i mean.. ppl are paying to get us to perform.. wow~~~ although its still below market price for a live band but hey~ we r not professionals right? hehe.. anyways.. i'm still very happy to be able to perform at a wedding.. a very pleasant experience for me.. :)

so this whole week was super bz la..

monday - interviewed the singers n musicians for the 6th recital
tuesday - FB gathering
weds - song practice for japanese cultural night
thurs - japanese cultural night performance
friday - practice for the wedding night
saturday - wedding night performance

n juz like dat.. my whole week gone~ hahhaa

eventful, tiring but fun as well~ :P

My Somewhat Unlucky New Year

2009-02-10T02:24:00.004+08:00

Hey ppl.. its been some time since i last blogged... well.. i"m gonna blog about my unlucky holiday.. ahha.. not to say its THAT bad.... but still... so here goes.. n its according to the lunar calendar...

28th
-No electricity

29th
-No water

30th
- I almost got blinded by a wooden hanger accidentally flung at me in Jusco
- My house was suddenly filled which mosquitoes and no1 knew where they came from

1st
- Good thing nothing happened on CNY

2nd
- My 2 good friends bought another 5 guys to my place.. making it 7 guys in total.. including my ex boyfriend.. n my mum almost recognized him from a foto she saw 2 years ago
- 1 side of my high heel dropped into a fish pond while i was at a buffet at a relative's place

4th
- I bought a lipstick which the gal at the shop gave me the wrong color...

9th
- A pearl from my earring fell out n went missing... Did i mention its new?

11th
- Some1 I totally disliked had me waiting downstairs for him for a long time with another gal who came down after me... n he actually apologized to her ONLY. Fine.
- I suddenly got involved in a performance I never actually intended to join... On SHORT notice

14th
- A screw came off my guitar n i cant seem to fix it back.. n its the Taylor by the way..
- I broke a glass which costed me RM18? I think so...

and Finally... its the 15th already... Chap Goh Mei... its the end of CNY.. n I hope this ends my v unlucky CNY too... :)

Esprit

2009-01-19T05:01:00.003+08:00

YAY~!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been eyeing this watch for SOOOO LONG~!!!!

I saw this watch a few years ago... in the Esprit shop... I fell in love with it instantly.. But it was way too expensive.. So i had no choice but to only look at it every time i went into an Esprit shop or the watch shop...

Yesterday, I went out with godma.. She wanted to buy me a watch.. As a belated Christmas present and a New Year present.. The brand is Che Che.. The watch had a poodle in the middle all covered with white and light pink swarovski crystals.. and the outer ring of the watch had bright pink swarovski crystals around it.. the strap is the same as my casio pink watch.. onli its made of plastic.. n its white in colour..

Lucy for me the shop had Esprit too.. so Godma let me choose between Che Che and Esprit... both the same price.. RM399... v pricey for a watch... although it was temtping and the little poodle was soooooooo cute... I finally chose my all time favorite ESPRIT!!!!

Thanks a million Godma!!!

YAY~!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

2009-01-01T17:43:00.002+08:00

After 1 year, 9 months and 24 days.. we broke up on the last day of 2008.. yup... its over between us.. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about this relationship.. I don't regret making this decision and I'm actually quite relieved I made this choice.

Just now, I called my dad and told him about this.

Since young, my dad has never asked me much about what I do or who I mix with. He always gave me the freedom to do the things I wanted as long as he thought it was okay. The only thing he cared about a lot was my studies and my future. I really thank him a lot for bringing me up this way. He made me found who I am and what I really want.

Just now during that conversation with my dad, tears came rolling down my face. He not only understood me, he even gave me advice. He told me, you have lots of relationships ahead. This is no big matter. Who ever you want to be with, what matters the most is that you have to have the same interest.

We talked about what I would do after I graduate. And for the 1st time, he asked me:"What are your plans?" I have never heard him say this before. For years, my dad has planned everything for me. Where to study, which course to take, every single thing. For the 1st time, he asked me what are my plans. I was so overwhelmed by all his words. It may seem normal for some, but for me to have this conversation with my dad, I was really very happy.

I'm very grateful to have a dad like him and I really look up to him. He is the best dad I could ever have! Love ya! Happy 2009~! Looking forward to a new year ahead!

Friends

2008-12-07T02:14:00.012+08:00

Friends do really matter a lot to me. They are always there for me when I need them. They are always there to share my joy n sorrow. I'm someone who needs someone to talk to when I'm down. People who don't know me well always see me as the happy-go-lucky type. I'm not. I do have my ups and downs. I do tend to think a lot. Too much sometimes. I know how it matters to me when I'm really down and that someone is there to listen to my rants and complaints. So yeah, just wanna say thanks to a few people here.

Yi Xian

I've known u longer than anyone else. It's been 10 years. We were in the same class from Standard 4 to Standard 6. We did the newspaper project together in Standard 6. We got into the same Secondary School. We were in the same St. John team. We were in the same Chinese tuition class. I went to your place more than other friend's places. We had a lot of fun together. So cheers to our 10 years of friendship~!

Li Yinn

Liyinn oh Liyinn.. You have always been so much fun~ Thanks for ALWAYS fetching me around in JB. Its wierd that we never get a chance to go out together in KL although we are studying in the SAME uni. Oh ya, change your wallet. LOLX

Kee Siong

You have always been there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to. You've given me so much advice. My problems always seem to disappear after talking to you. You always bring calmness and encouraged me a lot. I couldn't thank you enough.

Zhen Yang

My dear little brother. You heard me cry the most on the phone. Haha.. I really enjoy takling to you, no matter its just casual chatting or serious talking. You seem to be able to cheer me up whenever i'm down. Talking to you just makes my day. =)

Bing Xin

Xin er~ Although we've only known each other for less than a year, we hit off pretty well! We have similiar personalities and share the same passion for music. I really enjoy performing on stage with you. You are a great friend to have and I really treasure our friendship.

Christina

Last but not least, Nana~!!! My best Uni-mate, Course-mate, Class-mate, "Les-mate", House-mate, Room-mate! We met in such a funny way. We've shared so much great times together from Malacca to Cyberjaya. I think it was meant to be, for us to get to know each other and ultimately becoming good friends. Love ya~!

2008-11-06T01:32:00.002+08:00

Results are out... yep... totally screwed it again... i got like.. 3.2 gpa and my cgpa dropped again frm 3.34 to 3.31... I'm not at all happy with my results although it showed little improvement from my previous 1... I'm so so so angry at myself for not doing well. I could have done so much better.. I used to be able to get 1st class results... i could in the past, why not now? Is it that i'm reverting back to my lazy self? I cant let this go on...

I feel so bad.. This is not what i should get.. This is not me.. What happened? Being average is not enough.. I know i can do better.. I must work extra hard next sem..

Today my family celebrated my birthday.. I teared up when we were taking photos... I tried my best not to let any1 see it... It was my 1st birthday without grandpa.. Me, grandpa, n godpa used to celebrate our birthdays together.. our birthdays are only days apart.. n now... i'll never get to celebrate my birthday with grandpa anymore... Grandpa... i really miss u alot... Thanks for coming into my dreams b4 my accounting paper... u gave me the confidence i needed to sit for the paper... although i did not do well, i still passed.. I know u are watching me up there...

Its really hard for me to just wake up everyday and realize that you r not there anymore.. When i come back to jb, I see your car parked at grandma's house.. I dont see you walking out of the house to greet me.. I dont see you sitting at your table... I dont see you fetching da kids to school... it just breaks my heart... words cant describe my pain..

i really miss you...

I WANT TO SLP~!!!!!

2008-09-17T20:41:00.001+08:00

I'm super sien now... juz got woken up v abruptly by my housemate... super pek ckek.... until i cried... stupid right.. i know... bt my heart is beating like way too fast now... i cant even breath normally.... stupid... I seldom have a day of good slp... n this is wad happen when i finally get to slp..... super stupid...

Balancing Point

2008-07-23T07:24:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking to myself quite a lot lately.. What is it that makes you a person as a whole? Is it true that no one can ever be THE perfect person in everyone's eyes? So no one is ever perfect right? Can one ever rectify a bad first impression? These questions really got me into thinking.. How much do I know about myself? I've been having these fluctuating feelings..

When i was in high school.. People used to say I was too serious.. I used to be depressed.. I used to be suicidal.. I used to think that theres no meaning in life..

I realized this problem.. I tried to understand myself more.. I tried to look at things in different perspectives.. I changed..

Yet now.. I'm being described as childish.. I'm being described as someone who have no brains.. Someone who isn't a good leader..

Why is it so hard to find the balancing point in life? To be the person that people can accept without much complaints..

I'm not trying to be THE person people want me to be.. But by ignoring them, I'm ignoring myself.. By denying them, I'm denying myself..

What actually is the problem with me? And when can I actually find this balancing point of mine?

Kid

2008-07-18T11:45:00.005+08:00

The original image:

Step 1: Use the brush tool to turn the sky into grayscale.

Step 2: The same tool is used to color the slide with any color you like. For me, i colored it with green, blue, pink, yellow and red.

Step 3: Color the pant with brown. Make sure the brush is in "color" mode.

Step 4: Color the shirt

Step 5: Use brush tool to draw a sun on the right.

Step 6: Crop a girl image from the other picture and paste it into this image.

Step 7:

This is the final image.

Myself

2008-07-15T04:48:00.002+08:00

Its 5am in the morning and I'm super tired. There are so many things on my mind and I don't even know what I'm thinking at the moment.

Something happened today made me think to myself. How does other people see me as a person? Put aside physical appearance which I know very well myself. What about my character?

Is it that once people have a preset view on yourself, or should I say, have expectations on you, you have to live up to their expectations? So what if you can't?

i feel that sometimes, I try to become what people think I should be.

And when you don't perform well enough, they think the problem lies in you.

Is it really that hard to just be myself?

BAD LUCK

2008-07-15T04:12:00.003+08:00

I'm having really bad luck recently...

I lost my phone (Heart broken)
My guitar broke (Devastated)
The guitar string went deep into my finger when i tried to remove it from the guitar. (Bled. Alot.)
I lost a watch(Numb)
I'm sick (Weeks? Months?)
Misunderstandings with my housemate (Completely broke down)

And i thought people said it'll stop after 3 rounds of bad luck.

FINALLY~!

2008-06-22T12:37:00.003+08:00

Alrigh... I'm finally back... guess wad happened? I actually forgot my username and password for my blog!!! well thats a first for me~ anyway... after trying countless times trying to get the right combination... i finally gave up.. and tried to retrieve the correct email that i was using for this blog.. then i had to change my password again... and finally... i'm here... obviously... i'm getting old..

So anyway... I've shifted to my new place... its great... i mean... at last i dun have to see the faces of my old hsemates... which included an indian gal who ALWAYS used our stuff without permission.. and melted da edge of my soup bowl.. hows dat? oh yea.. not forgetting.. blasting indian music early in da morning and late at night.. and indian guys appearing in my place on and off... i'm not trying to be racist here... but its juz her i cant stand.. and 2 other ppl are my "beloved" house owner and her husband.. who ALWAYS forgot to pay da bills leading to some electricity and water supply cut off... GREAT...

I'm done there.. so yea.. I LOVE da new place... 5 of us.. 3 gals.. 2 guys.. got to know all of them from activities.. and da coolest thing is we all play music! theres this drummer, a bassist, a guitarist/backup vocalist, a keyboardist/vocalist, and a shakerist! hows dat? we hav a full band in da house yo! hhaah...

I'll be back in jb next weekend... grandpa passed away 49 days.. theres a ceremony which i must attend to.. so yea.. will be updating soon i guess... chao!

给公公的信。

2008-05-24T04:21:00.001+08:00

公公。。你走了已经有十二天了。。你还好吗？我们烧给你的东西都收到了吧？你在那里开心吗？有认识到朋友吗？你人缘那么好，应该没问题吧？

其实，我有好多东西想跟你说。。你也真得不应该。。怎么走得那么突然呢？我多几天考完试就会回来找你了啊。。

星期三早上，一考完，接到老妈的电话。。我崩溃了。。

回到去。。看到你安祥地躺在那里。。我不能接受。。我真得不能。。明明前几天才跟你通过电话。。我还告诉你要好好照顾自己。。怎么会这样？

从小到大，你最疼我了。。以前除了爸爸，就是你跟婆婆陪我玩了。。家里就只有我一个小的。。回想起从前，其实你每次陪我玩的那些游戏，你其实都不会玩吧？不过你从来都没有不理我，每次都会陪我玩。。以玩就玩上几个小时。。

从幼儿园到小学，到中学。。每天载我去学校。。载我放学。。载我去补习。。载我去学钢琴。。我懂你最没有耐心了。。总来都不喜欢等人。。不过你载我载了那么多年，从来都没埋怨过一句。。每次在我都会提早一个小时到。。甚至更早。。是因为怕塞车，怕我等。。每次载我，总会买一罐水，一点点心给我吃，怕我饿。。每次买东西给我吃，明明都是贵，你都不舍得买给自己吃，却买给我吃。。

还记得小学时，你每次驾车都给我控制手轧。。我想，也只有你会敢让一个小学生那么做吧？

妈妈每次跟我说，我跟你最像了。。喜欢吃的东西都一样。。她还说，你跟我说话的语气最温柔了。。好像跟女朋友讲电话一样。。每次载我放学都会叫我到“老地方”等。。老妈每次听到都会笑的。。

中学时，你每次偷偷买电话卡给我，又怕我被骂。。每次都要偷偷给我。。有一次还把电话卡藏在钢琴里呢。。也只有你才想得到这样的点子吧？

高中考试时，你带我去庙拜拜，拿了好多张符哦。。每天考几科就烧几张。。我知道你也是希望我考到好成绩。。

自从我在外读书，你差不多每天都会打给我，问我回到家了没有，吃饱了没有。。

一回到去，又会塞钱给我，怕我没钱用。。知道我回来，又会特地去订猪肝猪腰，叫婆婆煮给我吃。。

头七，老妈打来说你有回来看我们。。有去我的房。。不过我都不在。。我还跟老妈讲，你回来都找不到我。。谁知道那天下午就梦到你了。。你有听到我跟老妈的谈话吧？是你托梦给我的吧？在梦里，你告诉我你在那里过得很好。。还会回来看我们。。那是那对吗？你来找我对吗？

我还以为。。你能看到我毕业。。

我还想过。。我出来打工的第一份工钱，要拿来请你们吃一餐。。

我还以为。。你会看到我结婚。。

我还以为。。我会有机会好好地孝顺你。。

我还想听到你每晚打给我的那通电话。。

还想跟你一起去印度店吃东西。。

还想看到你在家迎接我回来。。

还想看到你每次见到我露出的笑容。。

公公。。你在那里一定要过得很好噢。。你替神做过那么多善事。。他一定会好好照顾你的。。有空一定要回来找我们。。我们都很想你。。萱萱还不懂事。。还以为你在睡觉呢。。你要好好照顾自己哦。。

也许我没讲过，不过这是我打从心底想跟你说的。。

公公，我爱你。

Stressed~

2008-05-09T05:14:00.002+08:00

I'm so stressed out.. I'm finally feeling the pressure closing in on me.. Never before I've been so afraid of failing.. I don't know..

I know i don't really go for classes.. I only have myself to blame.. but what good will it do me if I go for class and I still can't understand a single thing? Ironic isn't it?

Sometimes I think I'm dyslexic.. I can't seem to read things word by word.. It just appears to me like some drawing..

I'll start studying till morning from tonight onwards.. Since i know I can't concentrate well in the afternoon.. Might as well sleep in the afternoon and study at night..

I have a feeling I'll be crying a lot these 2 weeks.. Sorry Mun Chong~

Choices..

2008-04-29T16:46:00.002+08:00

I think I'm too indecisive...

Fickle minded...

Maybe I didn't get to do much of the choosing back then..

Many things I did because I had no choice..

Now, when choices seem to be abundant..

I'm the one who is getting lost in the midst of choices..

1st post here in 2008

2008-04-24T03:59:00.003+08:00

Well well well.. Its been 1 year+ since i've last blogged... difinitely a long time.. WAY TOO LONG~~ lolx.. anyway.. accidentally opened dis blog.. read through alot of stuff.. brought back alot of memories.. both good n bad.. Never knew i wrote blogs so frequently in the past.. i shud continue writing i guess.. for the sake of my memories.. (lets just say i dont have good memory~)

Looking back at the posts i once wrote.. i really can say that.. I've changed a lot.. and i really mean A LOT.. The posts i wrote 2 year ago.. most of them were full of hatred.. sadness.. sorrow.. I guess i was still young.. (not to say i'm v old now.. but still..) i was very strong headed.. Many things happened and maybe at that time, i couldn't take things that easily.. i was hit.. hard.. right in the face.. and i couldnt recover.. it really took me a long time.. i really had a hard time.. i was lost.. i had no direction.. right until i entered mmu.. that was when i started to change.. for the better of course.. people say you change as the environment changes.. i really must agree to that..

There are still things i need to improve on.. I've often overlooked alot of things.. my weakness.. my problems.. i never really thought they mattered so much.. until recently.. i realized after i entered uni, my command of English has slowly deteriorated.. up to a certain extend, i was questioning myself can i still say my English is good? It was never a problem for me to stand in
front of people and talk.. but recently.. i noticed.. i'm starting to stammer.. not because i'm scared.. my mind just goes blank.. maybe its the lack of practice? or its because i just dont speak english that often in uni anymore? almost all of my friends are chinese speaking... maybe that the reason.. i shud read more english books from now on.. i shud blog more in english too.. maybe that'll help..

Another thing.. i'm having problem with my leadership skills.. i've always been told that i have good leadership skills..i thought so too.. but after organizing an event.. it doesnt seem so anymore.. I really learnt a lot through this event.. it really woke me up and portrayed all my weaknesses.. i realized there are still a lot of things that i'm still incapable of.. maybe i was too self confident in the past.. but now i'm learning.. to improve myself and also to become a better leader.

We had post mortem today.. for our recital.. well.. organizing this recital.. has really been a challenge to me.. i have to admit.. there were many things i overlooked.. some which were quite critical.. in the end.. we managed to pull it off.. it was juz pure luck... i know.. without the performers this year.. the recital would have never been possible at all.. today many commented on my leading skills.. i really have to admit that i dont trust people.. maybe thats my weakness.. i've been trying hard to overcome this.. i've made improvements but nt enough.. they are right.. i'm not strict enough.. i was once very strict.. during high school.. people said i was too strict.. seriously.. i really dont know where is the balancing point.. i've been trying very hard.. many may not see it.. they may not know it.. but its okay.. i know it myself.. i dont know how people see me as a leader or as a person.. but i'm trying hard.. i just need some time..

anyway.. really tired now.. gotta get some sleep.. signing out.. ciao~

new blogskin!

2007-03-25T04:11:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!!! i have a new blogskin!!! thnx to edwin's kacau-ing... abt my forever-same-old-dull-blogskin... hahaa....

anyways... pretty pleased with this blogskin... pink n blue!! nice sia! da 1st skin i saw ler... love at 1st sight! lolx

well life's been really hectic for me these few weeks...

X midterm nx week...
X song practice every monday, tuesday, n friday...
X song composing comp on 1st April ...
X accounting project due on 13th April
X cyber concert on 18th April

just finish writing the melody for this year's song composing theme song a few days ago... a senior of mine did a wonderful music arrangement for tht song.. really thank him for that.. then the 3 songs that got into the finals... 1 playing guitar for "ai qing fang cheng shi", singing backup for " tao tuo", n singing " wo xiang xin" together with zheng kai... really hope everything goes well... cuz obviously i really dont have time to practice at all! lolx

really busy like mad... n the worse thing is.. i havent been sleeping well lately.. keep having wierd dreams... waking up feeling lethargic as ever... aixx... whats wrong with me? really yearn for a good night's sleep... i dunno.. hope tonight i wont have wierd dreams again.. haha!

anyway... really need to slp d... i have like... 3 hours more to sleep? haha.... gotta wake up early in the morning tomorrow... auntie bringing me out for breakfast.. yepx...

so yea... will update nx time.. bye ppl!

2007-03-14T19:26:00.000+08:00

long long long time nv blog here d... lol... so i'm gonna blog here today instead of my friendster blog... oh well... we finally got together.... 7th march.... yeah... v happy la... long time since my last 1.... finally got da courage to accept n to love again... so anyway.... we r hundreds of kilometres apart... yeah... not exactly far bt well we still cant see each other until this june.... bt da good thing is my mum knows n allows... phew.. lolx.. anyway... dunno wad to say d... will update more nx time la... bye!

2006-11-05T00:48:00.000+08:00

3 weeks of holidays have passed...

Lets start da entry with a saddening news... i did really badly in my 2nd sem finals... yeah... i mean REALLY BADLY... n guess wad? i got a C+ for my English... C+!!!!! I went crazy... I cried straight away once i saw the results... i cudnt slp the whole night... I just cant accept the fact i got a C+ for my english... i've never gotten anything below A for my english since primary school... nt dat i wannt brag abt it... english has been my strongest subject all along... i really cant believe i did so badly... my parents asked me to appeal for a re-mark for my english paper... well... we'll see how things go... anyway... my gpa dropped frm 3.74 to 3.2... big dive ehh? i couldnt believe it either... i did v well for my midterm.. i hav no idea wad happened... i guess i was to engrossed in club activities... Monday, Wednesday n Thursday nights were all reserved for club activities... added to that, we needed to design a website for our computer applications project, n we needed to make jelly n sell them for our business management project... all of these were too time consuming for me to cope with... i really felt very bad... i felt very bad for being too active in activities... i felt very bad for not studying enough... i felt very bad for not doing well in my finals...

用华文打吧。我上了大学后，下定决心要努力读书，为了要证明给我的父母看，我是能读书的，我是能够自立的。第一学期总算没白费，考出了好成绩。不过现在，我好像又跌落谷底似的。以前中学时的的种种原因让我无法专心读书，以为上了大学能够抛开一切，重新来过，谁知道结果还是一样，我还是忙于课外活动。我觉得真的很对不起自己。明明努力地拼了，年中考考到好成绩了，却又偏偏落败于年终考。可笑吧？唯有下学期努力拼过了。。。

好了，伤心事说完了，来一点开心的吧！

三个礼拜的假期虽然很短，但我也算过得很充实。跟姐妹出去，上吉隆坡找chris和winston，跟微晶创作坊的朋友唱k，跟“老爸”出去，去找乾弟，跟莉颖去看戏，跟姐妹唱k，跟乾哥们出去，帮二哥庆祝生日，家人帮我提早庆祝生日，还有好多好多。几乎每天都有约会。这三个礼拜我都过得很开心。对了！我买了好多部连戏剧哦！有时间的话可以慢慢看。

还有一件是，前男友最近有开始联络我了。他的“一时失踪，一时出现”把我弄得好混乱。真的不懂他到底在想什么？不管了。我也累了。最近我好像对一个人有好感，不过却不敢对他说些什么。也许是害怕再受伤害吧。以前的那道疤痕原来还是存在的。。。我一直在安慰着自己，也许对他只是暂时的喜欢，过一些日子就会慢慢淡掉的。可悲吧？一向叫人要勇往直前得我，一向坦率得我，在处理感情这种事情却是那么的懦弱。况且我跟他很有可能会分得好远好远，就算真的有感情，也是很难维持的。可以说是天使地利人和都不在我这一边吧。喜欢一个人不一定要拥有他，这是我时常劝朋友时说的，不过要用在自己身上时真的好难。我成熟了吧，变理智了。以前能不顾一切地去喜欢一个人，能把自己想说的都告诉他。现在，不一样了。需要考虑的事情太多了，也时常把事情藏在心里。变成熟了真的是件好事吗？

无论如何，我也只能等吧。希望能找到一个解决的方法。。。

2006-09-29T03:05:00.002+08:00

something is wrong with me.. suddenly i feel like posting another post again... hmmm....

recently sum1 asked me abt my ex again.. n made me start to think n wonder... how is he?

we've lost contact for around 3 months by now... since he came back to msia.. we've totally lost contact.. i dont know y... maybe i'm juz tired... tired to contact him... maybe i've grown up from my naiveness.. holding on to the promise we've made to each other that we'd still be best friends.. it doesnt seem so now does it?

i've changed...

i've seen alot... too much i can say... sometimes i really get tired... although yea... i do feel lonely at times... i still feel da emptiness in my heart... bt its been a long time.. maybe i have already got used to it.. or am i scared? scared to even face myself... my own thoughts.... its hard to make myself fall in love again.. not because of my ex... i dont know... its like a voice in my head telling myself... even if i like some1, its juz a feeling... it'll fade... thats wad the voice has been telling me...

i'm cheating myself...

i know.. but what can i do? its this voice in me thats making me... i should say unsensitive towards my own feelings anymore... and i dont know wad to do about it..

its so difficult to love again..

2006-09-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

well well well.... wasnt expecting myself to blog... but anyway... here i am...

so yeah... finals next week... i'm starting to feel the stress ade... these few weeks ive been stayin in ixora... i'm becoming a PR there... lolx...

oh well... all my projects have come to an end... website submitted... prob n stats tutorial handed in... business project ended... yepx... we earned a total of RM206.. all donated to charity... well i really have to thank my group members... for giving coorperation to me... its not easy being a group leader.. bt thanks to all of them... we did it... jellies, biscuits, n marshmallows.. all sold out.. hehx...

guitar class has ended... feedbacks are ok... quite good i can say.. except for some tutors... ~~~ wont elaborate on that..

this sem is coming to an end... life has been very busy... hectic should be the word... always rushing here and there.. sometimes i do miss the times like last semester... when chris, winston, christina, bean n me... always together... eat togeher... study together... go out together... sleepover together at chris's place or at my place... last semester i had much more free time.. more time to bond with the few of them... things wouldnt be the same again would it?

although i do miss laz sem alot... i cant deny that i had alot of fun this sem too... minus the tiredness... lol... after joining micros as a committee... i learned alot.. n made a new bunch of good frenx too...

n i realized too... my "counselling" skills are improving.. lolx... well this counselling job hasnt stopped for me this sem.. haha.... the onli difference is... the people i counsell keep changing.. well i wont say i'm a good counseller but i'm definitely a good listener.. well at least i cn help some ppl... which is gd enuf..

hmm wad else.. dat day me, ee jie n jessica went to jonker street ooo!!! lolx... n u know wad happened? it rained.... wad de piang... if dats not enuf, guess wad? we took off our shoes n we were practically running bare footed all over jonker street IN THE RAIN... haha... n there we were all wet splashing water at each other... haha... n we ate keropok n drank liang teh in the rain... AHAHA!!! anyway... we were vvv happy la... haha... except for eejie when she fell sick da nx day... LOL.... we went on dis taxi on da way back... man i tell u.... da taxi uncle is hillarious man.... keep asking us stupid IQ questions... hhaa.... damn funny man.... oh ya... we bought a few necklace... hehe... in da end we reached home happy, tired n wet.. haha...

k la k la... 1 am d n i havent studied anything yet... i'm so dead... will update more soon.... nic out!

2006-09-03T13:22:00.000+08:00

Yozz.... had the performance at jonker street last night... it was a success i can say... many ppl gathered arnd to see... i can say althought we weren't the best team... bt at least we weren't da worst.. ahha... no la... every1 was good... not forgetting the Wings singers... damn were they a bomb with cao ge's superwoman.. they did a fantastic 3 person acapella at the start... dunno whether any1 had the vid of it... bt anyway... me n ah cheng were the 1st to represent micros la... sang guo xiong's yuan lai ai... it was nt bad... heh.. too bad hsien yun didnt record it dwn... then wingee sang kai liang n wei keong's tian kong ye zhi dao.. yeps... was a bit pitchy n wingee forgot a few lines bt she managed to pull it through.. haha... we were like running a marathon... cuz us, which is micros song composing div , nian shao qing song composing group, xuan music cafe, n wings music cafe took turns singing... starting frm 8.30 till around 12! haha... around 9 sumthing it ws our slot again.. this time we sang pop songs.. i sang ah mei's ji de with ah cheng.. not bd... too bad ah cheng's mic was too far... so it was quite soft... then played di yu tian shi for wingee... she did a great job this time around...

after everything has ended, we headed to the nearby restraunt to celebrate with the nian shao qing peeps.. had a great time la... 1st time singing in such a special place.. hehx.. bt it was quite a pity la.. didnt had the chance to go to the other stations to see the other ppl sing.. cuz there were bands at other stations... whereas ours was the unplugged station.. hehx...

k la.. thts all for this post... chao!

2006-09-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

hey hey hey!!! I am officially back in the blogsphere! yepx... after say... erm.. 2 months? yeahh... i'm starting to miss blogging about my daily life....

So yeah... wad happened ehh? Seems lot.. lets hav a re-cap of wad i did... if i still remember anyhting at all! lolx...

lets see... my studies for this sem seems okay so far... da most suprising 1 shud be my probability n statistics paper i guess... i got 59/60 man!! xiadaaaooo.. lol... others ok la... nt too gd but can be considered above average...

hmm... oh yea.. i'm now a committee of cls (chinese language society) micros song composing div.
currently in charge of the guitar classes... i'm teaching as well... chio ler! haha... nthn to brag abt actually... cuz there r 6 other ppl teaching with me.. HAHA! we r juz assistants... helping out da teacher...

last week i went to town.. to learn how to make tea! hhaa... nt da normal teh o... u know.. erm.. chinese tea? da traditional type? yeahh... there was this 1 day course la... so i went.. with a few other cls committee... it was fun... hehe.... learnt alot...

n oh ya... i'm staying over at wingee's place these few days! haha.... holiday ma... national day... so yeahh... came over...

tml i'll be performing at malacca's jonker street!!! woohoo!!! 1st time man! i'll be playing da guit for 4 songs... 2 for wingee n 2 for ah cheng... i'll be singing with ah cheng as well.. heh... i'll be singing ah mei's ji de... its a medley actually... ahcheng will be singing jj's bu dong.. then i'll be singing backup for ah cheng's song.. which is yuan lai ai.. written by one of our seniors..

anyway... v tired d la... its almost 2.30am d.. aha... gonna hav a hair cut tml mornin... ah cheng fetching me.. yay! no need to walk.. haha... nic out!

*~::Welcome To My Life::~*

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HAPPEEEEEE~!

Graduation~

Idiots all around

ANGRY!

Roadshows~

FUN~!

Life oh life~~

MC today~

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Hey!! I'm back!

My new job

1st day of work

For grandpa..

Happy CNY~!

Nail art~

Job Interviews~

Recap~!

21 things I've done b4 i turned 21

公公

Updates~!

1st night performing at lifes cafe

FInal course registration~

100 truths

Feeling happy~ :)

At Work~

Wadeva~

Whomever it may concern, pls read this.

Friends? Not!

random

Dear Grandpa

a day in office~

recollection~

friends~

Fed Up

Not my best day~ haha

ouch~

Guitar

Rants~ (pls ignore)

My Boss

Mr Nice Guy? NOT!

Working Life~

random

dreams

Dear Di~

Bride Wars; Friends~

Blog

Coffee anyone?

Besties

Equality

quote

random

Fillet-o-Dog

累。。。

nightmare

finals

random

internship

My wonderful life...

Hospital Visit

asthma... again

Assigments...

random

down~

Asthma...

Recital Post Mortem

random

random~

2 Days After Recital

1 day left - recital

2 days left - recital

3 days left - recital

stressed out..

stressed stressed stressed~~~

Stressed~

Holidays~!

Hectic Week

My Somewhat Unlucky New Year

~::Welcome To My Life::~